little you, little me
by finnnorgana
Summary: (613): I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
1. five weeks

hi, this is me, crossposting my work from ao3

here it is y'all, the one and only hetalia work I will ever publish, from back in my cansey days. loved that rarepair.

whole thing was beta'd be vinnie2757, light of my life.

have fun y'all

* * *

 _(613): I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant._

"Oh _shit_."

Arthur looked up at Marie's curse, saw her staring aghast at her phone. "What? What is it?" He moved around the small island in their kitchen to the living room to sit next to Marie on the couch.

Hissing a breath through her teeth, she runs a hand through her hair and sighs. "So, Michelle's pregnant."

His expression dropped from concern to shock, "oh _shit._ "

" _Exactly_." Marie agreed. "Oh my god. I need to call Elise. She probably already knows but. Holy shit."

Arthur leaned back against the cushions of their couch, mug cradled in his hands, "Holy shit indeed. Do you-do you think Matt-?"

"Probably not," she answered, scrolling through her contacts for Elise's number. "I'm sure she's gonna tell him eventually - hello? Elise? Did Michelle text you, too? I kno - I _know_. Hey, listen - are you free? We can meet Michelle up for lunch, I'll call her after you to confirm…"

-o-

"So."

That one word made Michelle cringe, squinting against the glare of the sun and the weight of her friends' eyes. She looked down at her hands, rolling the bottle of water she brought between her palms and wishing for a cup of coffee.

But she can't really have that anymore.

After shooting her friends her impromptu pregnancy text and getting three rapid fire calls from Marie and two voicemails from Elise, Michelle somehow found the time to send them a text, letting them know when she would have time to talk.

And now, about three hours later, here they were, sitting outside one of their usual foodie haunts, Marie and Elise enjoying their lunch while Michelle could only stomach a small bowl of fruit.

Before she thought it was just from the hangover. Shows what she knows.

"Yeah," she sighed, finally gathering the courage to look back up and throw out a weak smile, "what a way to find out, right?"

"Do you know how far along you are yet?" Elise asked, tucking a lock of hair that slipped from her braid behind her ear, lips pressed together with sympathy.  
She shrugged in answer, "gonna have to make a doctor's appointment after…" She hissed out a breath between clenched teeth, "after I tell Matt."

Michelle closed her eyes and roughly ran a hand through her hair, panic stealing her breath; the sun was shining, there was a nice breeze going, and she was however many odd weeks pregnant when she wasn't entirely ready to be.

"Hey."

Marie grabbed her free hand, "you know you don't have to keep this, right? And Matt, he _loves_ you-he's not about to make you go through anything you're not ready for."

"I know," Michelle breathed, "I know he won't, but I'm just – I -" She helplessly shakes her head, trying to find the words, and Elise scoots her chair closer to Michelle's side, leaning forward to press her cheek against her shoulder.

"I'm only twenty three," Michelle finally croaks out, "I'm-I'm still getting settled in my job, and Matt's still just an aide and-and we're barely out of _school_. Sure we've been smart with money and we're not - we're not struggling but….a _child_. That's _so much_. And I got – I got drunk, this past weekend. God, I can't believe I - I got _drunk_ , guys. I got completely smashed and what if – what if it's not healthy? What if something's happened to it because I just didn't _know_?"

Panic tightens her chest, makes her cold. She gives herself a second, riding it out, shaking the cold feeling away. Marie squeezes her hand in silent support.

"And even though - and even with all that I just….?" Michelle shrugs, the sudden motion jostling Elise off her shoulder. "Sorry - I still – I think I want it. It's not the right time at all, we really aren't ready, but I don't _care_. I _want_ it."

A lump rose in her throat, choking her, and she stares at her friends with wide eyes, trembling. Her eyes shined with unshed tears. "It's so scary," she continues, "it's so soon, and I'm just - I'm not sure I can – I don't _know_."

Marie hummed, brow wrinkling in concern as she ran a gentle thumb across her knuckles, "it'll work out." She soothed, "no matter which way this goes, we're all in your corner."  
Letting out a shaky sigh, Michelle covered her face with her free hand, soaking in the heat of the sun bearing down on her shoulders, taking a moment to compose herself.

Elise and Marie said nothing, letting her gather herself as they picked at their food. Eventually, Michelle dropped her hand from her face and turned away, watching the people walk by as she thought. Her eyes lingered a little too long on every mother with a stroller, on fathers holding their toddler's tiny hands as they walked.

After twenty minutes, she decided.

"I'll tell him today."

She turned back to them, jaw set. "It's his day off, so he's at home. I'll tell him after work."

Marie nodded, her expression serious. "It's gonna be fine." Her tone was firm, confident, and it made her shoulders relax a bit, soothed the nerves that cramped her stomach.

"Call us tomorrow. We'll be waiting," Elise chimed in, running a soothing hand down Michelle's arm, "let us know how it goes. And what you decide."

-o-

"I'm hooooome!"

Michelle hollered her greeting as she shouldered her way through the front door and was answered with silence. Disgruntled, she sighed, figuring that Matt went out while she was gone.

She tossed her bag onto one of the chairs at the table and wandered over to the cabinets, pulling out a small glass to pour some juice. "Juice is safe, right?" She asked herself under her breath, hopping onto the counter with her glass, "I'm sure it is. It's _juice_. I'll google it."

"Google what?"

Michelle sputtered around a mouthful of juice, jerking around to see Matt enter through the side door of their home. "Jesus!" She gasped, setting her glass on the counter with a solid 'thunk', "I need to put a bell on you or something! You scared me!"

Matt grinned at her, two parts sheepish, one part mischievous, "I'm sorry," he hummed, and, well, at least he sounded partially contrite. "I was out back, checking on the plants. What were you talking about googling?"

"Nothing serious," she sighed, setting her cup next to her without looking, unable to look away, "it was just, y'know – stuff. About juice. Don't worry about it."

He hummed as he moved to the sink to wash the dirt off his hands, not yet noticing Michelle's roving eyes; he was dressed in a simple white tee and a frayed pair of jeans, both of them smeared with streaks of dirt, his skin browned by the sunny summer days. His hair was slipping from the loose braid he'd done, a little more blonde from the sun, and he was windswept and beautiful and Michelle suddenly ached with wanting him.

"Matthew."

Matt looked up, saw Michelle beckoning to him with an outstretched hand and wiggling fingers, and smiled.

He was in her space in two long strides, and Michelle spread her legs to accommodate him, the sides of her knees pressed gently against his hips.

"Hey." He murmured, boxing her in as he placed his hands on the counter, inches from the side of her thighs. "Hello." She hummed back, tilting her head back to look up at him, lips curled into a fond smile, "I missed you."

Matt huffed out a small laugh, leaning in more so that his nose brushed gently against hers, "it was only a few hours."

"Well, it sure felt like more." She easily shot back, before letting out a heavy sigh, hooking her heels against the backs of his thighs. "It's just been a very long day."

"I'll bet." Matt says with sympathy, running his hands soothingly along her thighs; callouses on his palms scraped lightly against her skin, and Michelle shivers, pressing herself impossibly closer to him. She hooks her fingers through his belt loops, thumb slipping under the hem of his shirt to graze against warm skin. Matt hummed at her touch, and his lips lightly brushed against hers.

The brush of contact was electric, shooting down her spine and curling low and hot in her gut, molten.

Everything was just so _sensitive_ all of a sudden, and the reason why nagged in the back of her mind, making her chest tighten with nerves. She had to tell him - soon, immediately, right now, before she followed through with the desire to ride him on the kitchen table. Matt was so, so close now, his nose brushing against hers, lips just a gentle slide away and Michelle just wanted to suck his bottom lip into her mouth, pull him in.

But this was more important. She couldn't just sit on this, and after a moment of consideration, Michelle took the leap.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered the words into his mouth, let him have the moment to swallow them and let them sink in. The wait wasn't very long.

Matt jerked back like he'd been slapped, looking at her with wide, wide eyes, and Michelle faintly wondered if this baby would have his eyes.

"Pregnant..." he whispered, as though he heard her wrong, " _pregnant?_ "

It was starting to go how she expected, but Michelle wasn't too nervous, yet. She nudged at Matt's hips with her knees, gesturing to her bag behind him, "Can you….can you get that for me?"

He pulled away from her in a daze, stumbling to the table to grab her bag, and Michelle instantly missed him, even though he was still so close.

When he returned to her, bag in hand, she took it from his limp fingers, trying not to notice too much that he wasn't as close as he was before, and plucked three pregnancy tests from the bottom of her bag. She laid them on the counter next to her, one by one.

All positive.

"You won't believe how much water I had to drink to make that happen." she joked lightly, trying to brighten this up somehow, to try and make Matt smile. But he didn't, he couldn't even speak, eyes glued on the three tests on the counter.

The quiet weighed on her, heavy, so heavy, and it quickly became too much. "Please say something." Michelle whispered. "I don't know what to do. I can't do this alone. Please."

Matt's eyes finally looked over to her, still so big and scared, and he swallowed audibly. "What -" his voice cracked, and he coughed, clearing his throat, "what….what do you _want_ to do?"

A giggle spilled from her lips, tinged with hysteria, "I just said don't _know_ , I - we're so young. We're so _young_ , y'know? _God_ , we - And we've barely gotten settled with work, and I don't even know if this house is big enough for a _baby_ , I'm - I'm - I'm so scared."

The words were spilling out of her, and Michelle fiercely wished that Matt hadn't stepped away, that he was pressed close against her again, and she could lean on him.

"I'm _scared_ , Matt, and - and what if I fucked up already? We've gotten _drunk_ , we - and I didn't even know, and it's just -" She exhales in a rush, running a hand through her hair, "I don't know what I want." She finally whispered, helpless, and that finally brings Matt back into her space, makes him curl around her, fingers digging into her shirt.

"We'll think about this." He says, pressing his forehead into the crook of her neck, "I'll follow your lead, okay? Whatever choice you make, I'm behind you."  
Michelle nods, cheek pressed against the golden crown of his head, and for a moment, it was silent.

"I'm scared, too." Matt says, abruptly breaking the silence, "I'm - everything that you said. I'm scared, too. But we can be scared about it together. You're not gonna do this alone."

Michelle swallowed past the lump in her throat, and clung to Matt as the gold glow of the kitchen was blurred over with tears.

-o-

For a little over a week, things felt almost normal again. Until Michelle's doctor appointment came around.

They didn't speak much on the way to the office, and by the time they were in the waiting room, they were dead silent. Michelle kept a death grip on Matt's hand, her free hand filling out a clipboard balanced on her knee, trying her best not to bounce her leg with her nerves.

Despite efforts to stay calm, her stomach lurched when her name was called, and her grip on Matt's hand became impossibly tighter as they were led to the tiny examination room. Matt looked as nervous as she felt, hands trembling against her sides as he helped her onto the examination chair, the thin paper crinkling under her thighs, so loud in the empty room.

She couldn't think of anything to say, but Michelle didn't look away from him, not for a second, until the doctor entered the room.

"Hello there."

The doctor looked kind, dark skin creased lightly with wrinkles and a smile, her silver streaked hair braided and draped over her shoulder. "You're Miss Cadeau, yes? I'm Doctor Mosley, and I'll be taking care of you today. So!" She clapped her hands together, "you're here because you found out you're pregnant?"

Michelle nodded, the motion jerky, "y-yes." She cleared her throat, spoke again, "I, uh, I found out last Sunday? I, I have this app, on my phone, tracks my cycles and lets me know when it's coming up. And I got an alert, I should've started Friday and-" she gestured helplessly, "I just….didn't."

Dr. Mosely nodded, "and you've taken a home test?"

"Three. I wanted to be sure." Michelle smiled crookedly, and even Matt let out a small chuckle from his seat in the corner.

"Mmm, so if you were able to take a home test, we can at least be confident that you're, at the very least, five weeks along." Dr. Mosely scribbled something on her clipboard, brows wrinkled slightly in thought. "It might be too soon for an ultrasound," she began slowly, "so I think we'll wait on that, make an appointment for a few weeks out. Until then, I'm going to suggest some vitamins, things to include in your diet-"

"But what if I've already messed up?" The question burst out of Michelle, unable to keep the one fear that's been nagging at her ever since she saw the positive sign on the tests. "I-I got so drunk the day before I found out; what if I've already screwed it up? What if it's too late? How will I know?"

Her stomach was twisted into knots, and she looked up beseechingly at Dr. Mosely, who was already looking at her, dark eyes so full of kindness. "It's still a bit too early to tell," she said gently. "If you're willing, we can wait it out until your ultrasound. Unless, that is, you've made an alternative decision? Have you-"

"-thought about getting an abortion?"

Matt, so silent in his chair, shifted slightly at her cutting the doctor off, her blunt tone, and Michelle's eyes slid over to him. Even though he was just across the room, she ached at the distance. She wanted to hop off the examination table and curl up in his lap, soak up his warmth and reassurance.

After a moment of silence, she spoke, "I have." She didn't take her eyes off Matt, "of course I have; Matt and I, we're young, and we're lucky that we're getting by well enough, that we've got such good jobs…but…" Michelle bit her lip, considering, "I'm still not sure. I just don't know if we can support a child. Not right _now_."

More silence. Matt was staring down at his clasped hands.

"I understand. This is a very hard decision that you have to make."

Dr. Mosley moved across the small room, plucked a brochure from the desk. "You've got a few weeks to decide, and until then, I recommend you take some prenatal vitamins. No coffee. Drink plenty of water. Make sure you update your diet." She pressed the brochure into Michelle's hands, smiling in reassurance, "and when you are ready to make a decision and move forward-"

She plucked a small card off her desk, tucked it into Michelle's hands next to the brochure, "you can call me whenever you like."

Michelle didn't know what to say.

The drive home was silent.

-o-

The answer comes to Michelle eventually, two weeks later in the middle of the night.

It was a little after one, and Michelle was still lying awake, staring at the shafts of moonlight that cut through the blinds and faintly bathed the room in silver. Curled around her back, Matt was sleeping, breathing deep and even at the curve of her neck. One of his arms was draped over her hip, large hand curled towards Michelle, hovering near her stomach.

In the summer heat, the weight of him should have felt smothering, but Michelle didn't mind it all that much; it felt nice to have him so close, keeping her grounded.

Shifting slightly, Michelle glanced down at Matt's hand, so close to her stomach, and let her mind wander.

Logically, she knew that now wasn't really the best time to have a child; they were stable enough, but not _that_ stable. Sure they're settling into their jobs, but they were both still so young, still stumbling through adulthood on shaky legs. To bring a baby into the mix would just fuck up any steady ground they had. The right answer, the _smart_ answer, was so simple.

So why all the hesitation?

Michelle bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a snort; she didn't have to think too much to find the answer. She knew why.

All signs pointed to it being the wrong time…but in the end, she didn't really care. She selfishly wanted to keep this small thing, something entirely new she and Matt made all their own.

Pulling his hand away from her stomach, Michelle pressed Matt's big hand between hers, playing with his fingers as she thought. Her eyes danced around her room, looking but not really seeing; it was cozy and a little messy, most of the space taken up by their bed, a queen sized monstrosity they bought with housewarming money from her parents. She moved over to their tall dresser, the surface littered with makeup, empty water bottles, and picture frames of their friends and family.

Michelle didn't really plan on ending up in this situation, she mused, rubbing her cheek against her comforter, soft and worn with the years, but-

She squeezed Matt's hand between hers, and he huffed into her neck, shifting a little in his sleep.

But no matter what, she wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.

Calm sank into her bones, and Michelle closed her eyes for a moment, settling into her decision. Slowly, she twisted in Matt's grip, giving herself a moment to stare at his face, slack and peaceful with sleep. Then she reached out to him, placing her hand on his side and gently shaking him, "Matt." She whispered, "Matt, wake up for a second."

It took a little bit, but slowly he woke up, eyes almost lavender in the faint light of the moon as he looked at her, sleepy and confused.

"Michelle? Wha's wrong? Time issit?"

He yawned hugely, curling even further into her, pressing his cheek into her neck. Michelle pressed even closer to him in return, twisting her fingers into the soft fabric of his t-shirt. She sighed, and then whispered into his ear:

"I think I want to keep it."

The words were hushed, a quiet wisp of air, but they felt so loud in that moment. Matt stiffened against her, still hiding his face in her neck, and Michelle waited, nervous.

She didn't have to wait long, and she relaxed, boneless with relief, as Matt pressed his agreement into kisses, once, twice, three times against the curve of her neck.

They're doing this. They're really doing this.

It didn't take long to fall asleep after that.

-o-

Matt awoke to sunlight in his eyes and Michelle's heartbeat against his cheek.

They had shifted in the night, Michelle tucking Matt's head under her chin, keeping him close with arms draped loosely over his shoulders and a leg thrown over his hip. It was already warming up; their room soaking up the New York heat, and Matt's cheek was sticking to Michelle's skin with sweat.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Matt gently shook his head, scraping his stubble rough cheek across Michelle's skin, and she didn't even stir. Usually she'd sleepily push him away, grumbling in annoyance, but this time there wasn't even a twitch, Michelle's chest rising with the even breaths of deep sleep.

Frankly, he wasn't surprised that he couldn't rouse her; Matt knew that Michelle had been having trouble sleeping in the past weeks. The sight of dark circles smudged under her eyes made him ache, and Matt would not miss them when they eventually disappear. Shifting under the blankets, Matt slid his hand, which was absently stroking the skin of Michelle's bare thigh, up to where her sleep shirt had hitched up in the night, exposing a strip of her stomach.

It was still the same, still its usual flat softness, and yet, different; now something much more life-changing.

 _'I think I want to keep it.'_

Michelle's voice echoed in his ears as Matt gently brushed a thumb across her stomach, heart pounding in his ears. A baby. There's a baby in there right now, small as anything.

 _They were going to have a baby._

"Holy shit." Matt whispered into the still room. "Holy _shit._ "

Matt was pretty sure that everyone and their mom knew by now about this, so good thing that hurdle was out of the way; he _really_ needed to talk to someone.

With great reluctance, Matt removed himself from the circle of Michelle's arms, slowly shuffling out of the bed. This, of course, would be the time Michelle would decide to wake up a little.

She groaned at his loss, stretching an arm across the mattress and squinting up at him with one eye. "Matt," she mumbled, voice thick with sleep, "where y'goin'?"

"I'm just gonna go out, see Al for a bit."

"But it's _so early_." She moaned, pressing her face into her pillow, hitching the covers up even though the room was so warm. Matt crossed the room to turn the ceiling fan on for her, knowing she'd overheat soon without it.

"Maa-aaatt, come back to bed with me." Michelle whined, reaching out for him and wiggling her fingers, "just for a couple more hours." He felt his lips curl up into a helpless, besotted smile, and Matt couldn't resist getting back onto the bed. His smile grew at Michelle's pleased noise, and she reached out and snagged his shirt, pulling him back to her.

Matt followed Michelle's insistent tugging until he was hovering over her, caging her in on all fours. "Michelle," he laughed as she looped her arms around his neck, eyes already drooping closed, "I really do want to go see Al. I won't be gone for too long, promise."

Humming, Michelle considered him, lazily carding her fingers through his hair. "I just want to stay in bed with you all day." She said softly. "It's Saturday; one of our few days off this week…no one's knocking…"

"Hmmm, tempting..." Matt leaned down, gently brushing his nose against hers, "but we can do that when I get back."

She groaned, arms sliding off Matt's shoulders, "but that might be _forever_. You know how you and Al are."

"We're only gonna talk for a little while, I promise."

Matt leaned down, pressing a kiss to Michelle's closed eyelid, the curve of her cheek, and finally her gently parted mouth.

She hummed at that one and kissed him back, morning breath be damned. When he pulled back, she licked her lower lip, placated. "Alright." she finally said. "Go and see Al, then. And hurry back."

"I'll be back before you have any time to miss me," Matt promised, shuffling off the bed once more. Michelle muttered something that sounded like _'too late for that'_ , and hitched the blankets back up, burrowing back into their bed.

-o-

The first thing Al said when he opened the door was, "so, I told mom."

Matthew's mouth dropped open. "You _told mom_?" he breathed, outraged. "Oh my god, Al, what the _fuck?_ I was gonna call her!"

"Well, I figured you were gonna drag it along, like you usually do, so I just decided to speed it up for you." Al opened the door further, ushering him inside, "keep the outrage down to a minimum though; Arthur and Marie are still sleeping. Not everyone gets up at asshole o'clock like we do."

"Eight in the morning is not asshole o'clock," Matt grumbled, still slightly stung at Al calling their _mom_ , what the fuck.

Al rolled his eyes, leading him to the kitchen, and grabbed two mugs out of the pantry. "I didn't tell her everything." He said, "Just that you knocked Michelle up. I didn't let her know what y'all decided to do."

Placing the mugs on the counter next to the coffee maker, Al moved to the fridge, grabbing a large tin of coffee and turning back to Matt. "I'm guessing that's why you called to come over." Al continued, tapping a filter into the top of the machine and putting in three huge scoops of coffee before flicking it on. Al leaned on the counter as the coffee maker began to bubble and percolate, finally giving Matt all of his attention, sky blue eyes sharp.

"What have y'all decided to do, Matt?"

He looked down at his hands, fingers tapping out a nervous rhythm against the smooth granite of the counter. The scent of coffee thickened in the air; he's certain Arthur and Marie will wake soon.

"She wants to keep it."

Al exhaled slowly. "And you?" He asked slowly, "Do you want this kid too?"

Matt wanted to laugh at the caution in his brother's voice, but instead he sighed, let his head drop into his hands. "Yeah. Yeah, Al, I really want this baby."

He knows it's not an ideal time; they're too young, inexperienced, barely financially secure. This isn't anything like getting a new plant to add to his garden, or helping Michelle tend to and move her bees; this is a _baby_ , a new, tiny thing. So fragile and so dependent on them.

It was terrifying.

And yet...Matt can't help but imagine this new thing they made, a perfect mix with his nose and Michelle's chin and her big, golden brown eyes. He sees it, sees them laughing, moving, growing, and he's never wanted something so much in his life.

Al must have seen those thoughts on his face, because his shoulders drop, tension leaving him. "Alright," he sighed, trusting his answer and leaning closer to him. "Okay, Matt. That's good. It's _good_. It'll work out, you'll see. We'll be here to help, whatever you need."

The coffee had finished brewing, and Al filled the mugs up to the brim, handing one over to Matt to flavor it how he likes. As Al reached for the small jar of sugar, Matt walked to the fridge, grabbing the bottle of flavored coffee creamer; Matt liked his coffee with a decent amount of creamer, while Al liked to flavor his with creamer and sugar to the point of it tasting like syrup.

As Matt stirred creamer into his cup, a shuffling noise drifted down the hall, and Al smiled into his coffee.

"s'at coffee?"

Arthur emerged from the hallway, Marie at his heels, scrubbing a sleepy hand through his mussed hair. Yawning, he stumbled into the kitchen, walking around the island until he was pressed against Al's side, cheek mushed into the crook of his neck. Marie slumped onto the counter next to Matt, eyes barely open as she mumbled 'good m'rnin' into the cool granite.

"Alfred." Arthur grunted, "It's too early to live. We need coffee. Give us some."

"You don't even like coffee." Al teased, resting his cheek against the crown of Arthur's head.

"Shut the fuck up, yes I do. I want a coffee."

"Well I can't get mugs when you're slumped all over me, so if you want coffee then you're gonna have to get off me."

Arthur sighed loudly, like that was the worst idea in the world, but he eventually moved to slouch onto the counter. Al laughed, "you didn't even say hi to Matt or anything. He's been watching you two act like zombies this whole time."

Both Arthur and Marie looked over at Matt with one bleary eye, and Marie reached out to give him a sloppy pat on the arm while Arthur grunted out his greeting.

Al snorted. "These are the people I have chosen to spend my life with." He mutters, grabbing two more mugs from the cabinet.

"Sorry Matt," Marie groaned, pushing herself up onto her elbows, "we were up _super_ late, we're not this bad in the mornings-"

"Lies! You're _always_ this bad in the mornings. Maybe a little more chipper some days." Al returned to them, a steaming mug of coffee in each hand. He placed one in front of Arthur-black, with a little sugar-and pressed a fond kiss to his cheek. Shimmying around the island, he handed the second cup to Marie-lots of creamer, no sugar-after pressing a sweet good morning kiss to her mouth.

As the two hummed and sipped their drinks, Al returned to his mug with a satisfied smile. "So now that y'all are waking up, you'll want to know that Matt and Michelle decided to keep the baby."

" _Wow_ , Alfred." Matt said loudly as Arthur and Marie's heads whipped towards him, eyes wide. "At least give them a minute to _actually wake up_ before you tell them all my business."

"They're _basically_ family, Matthew! Plus that's _literally_ why you came over! They were gonna know eventually!"

"Y'all are keeping it?" Marie gasped, cutting off their bickering, "that's - that's so great, Matt! Congrats!"

Arthur smiled, "good for you, Matt. We'll give Michelle a call later; whatever you two need, we're happy to help."

Matt's hands tightened around his mug and he smiled, basking in the support. A part of him expected this reaction when he decided to come over, but to have it actually happen loosened a knot of anxiety that had tightened his chest.

"Thanks." He said quietly, "that…it really means a lot. _Telling mom_ ," he added, throwing a pointed glare at Al, "wasn't great, but I appreciate everything else."

Marie frowned at Al, "you did _not_ call your mother and tattle."

"It wasn't _tattling_ , oh my god. Matt always drags it out! He would've waited _forever_ to tell her!"

"A few days is not forever, Alfred!"

-o-

When Matt returned home a few hours later, Michelle was still in bed.

She was dozing, curled up on her right side, fingers curled around her cell phone. Matt quickly toed off his shoes and climbed back into bed, waking Michelle up with his movements.

"Hey." She smiled drowsily at him, "you're back. And it only took three hours. That wasn't long at all."

"Told you I wouldn't be gone long."

Matt slipped an arm under the blankets to wind around her waist, and Michelle scooted closer to him, tucking her head into his shoulder. For a moment it was quiet, the only sound their breathing and the occasional contented hum from Michelle. Eventually, Michelle broke the silence, "I called my mom. Told her what was happening."

Matt tensed up a little in apprehension. "Yeah? What….what'd she say? How'd she take it?"

Michelle sighed quietly, "She was upset at us being careless, of course. But she's got our back, and she'll be there to help if we need it. Dad, too."  
She gave him a teasing smile, the worried crinkle between her brows fading, "she also asked when I was gonna make an honest man out of you."

Matt choked on a laugh, chest swelling with warmth. "We'll have to elope," he joked, "just pack what we've got and drive to Vegas."

"God, no!" Michelle smacked his chest, "mom will kill you, you know she'll want the whole shebang. So you better put a ring on it properly, sir."

Matt's teasing smile melted down into something soft and gooey, and he tucked a lock of hair behind Michelle's ear, the gesture full of reverence.

"Yeah?" he asked softly, and his tone was full of wonder.

Michelle scooted away from him a little to look him in the eyes, cupping his face between her warm hands. "Yeah." She said back in a voice just as soft, "of course. Of _course_ I will, Matt. We've been together since _college_ , are you kidding me?"

She rubbed her thumbs across the arc of his cheeks, gentle, "You're it for me, Matthew Williams. I've been sure about spending the rest of my life with you since our junior year. Thought about kids, too. Even though this is happening...way, way earlier than I planned it…I don't regret it at all. I want everything with you, of course I do. I've never been so sure about anything in my life."

Matt doesn't know what his face is doing right now, but whatever's happening makes Michelle smile big and wide, eyes full of love.

"You're so dumb." She sighed fondly, pulling his face towards hers for a kiss, "I love you."

"No, you." He replied lamely, his words partially muffled by her lips.


	2. eight weeks

also, for the timeline's sake!

during chapter one, I know I mentioned it in the fic but Michelle was for sure five weeks along. the baby was conceived around the first week of July, after vigorous rounds of tipsy birthday sex with Matt. So at eight weeks we're at around mid august.

okay go.

* * *

This time around, things really _did_ feel normal.

As August slowly crawled into September, Matt worked, Michelle continued to care for her bees and sell her wares, and an appointment was set for Michelle to get an ultrasound and check on the baby. Life was just going on, and Michelle started to feel like she could get the hang of this situation, if it went on as smoothly as it has.

And then the morning sickness _really_ kicked in.

Early morning found Michelle crouched in front of the toilet, heaving her empty stomach into the bowl. Matt hovered behind her, rubbing her back as she retched and spat, brushing her hair away from her face.

" _God_." Michelle groaned, resting her cheek against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat, "this is _awful_. This is so _gross_ , why is this happening."

"I think it might've been the coffee."

Michelle had already been looking queasy when she walked into the kitchen, filling up the electric kettle Elise had given her for Christmas to make a cup of tea. But the scent of Matt's too-strong coffee filling the space had her turning on her heel and racing to the bathroom.

She spat once more into the toilet before pushing herself to her feet, making sure to flush the toilet before heading to the sink.

"Ugh, it just didn't smell good all of a sudden." Michelle grimaced, "Now it just smells like _dog shit_."

"Wow, don't go and ruin it for me, too."

Turning the sink on, she made a face at him in the mirror, reaching for her toothbrush, and says "now you get to suffer with the thought like I do."

She started to brush her teeth, and Matt pushed himself to his feet, moving to lean a hip against the sink, staying close. It was quiet for a little while, Michelle humming under her breath as she brushed her teeth.

"Will you be alright going to work?" he finally asked, brows wrinkled in concern.

Michelle spat into the sink, quickly rinsing her mouth out with a couple handfuls of cold water before straightening up. She pursed her lips, thinking, "I think I'll be fine." She decided, "I still feel a bit gross, but I should be alright for the day."

"If you're sure…"

"Pretty sure." She affirmed, "But if I start feeling like that again I'll head home."

"Alright." Matt reached out, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, and smiled. "I guess no more coffee in the house, huh?"

"I'm sure you'll survive." Michelle teased, "you'll probably just go to Al's every morning instead, bum coffee off him."

He shook his head, snorting, "Al is more of a coffee junkie than I'll ever be. If I take all of his stash he'll kick my ass. It's fine." He smiled, "we're just gonna be a tea family now."

"Aww, Matt, you're gonna suffer with me!"

"Tea isn't _that_ bad, c'mon, Michelle."

"Sure it isn't! It's just not coffee."

Matt laughed, and gently hip checked her as she moved away from the sink, "let's get ready for work, then; I'll go air out the kitchen for you so you don't puke again."

-o-

"So everything's good?"

Elise looked lovely today, hair shining platinum under the sunlight as she cupped her face in her palm, head turned towards Michelle.

"Yeah." Michelle neatly arranged her jars of lavender honey, straightened up the stacks of beeswax soaps before she turned to her friend, squinting against the glare of the sun.

"My ultrasound appointment is next week, so we'll see how everything's going, find out when I'm due and stuff. I'm taking all the vitamins the doctor recommended and we've banned coffee from the house this morning." She grimaced at the memory, "the vomiting was _unreal_."

"Oh, gross." Elise wrinkled her nose in a mix of sympathy and disgust, "I can't imagine how the two of you are going to make it without coffee. Have you tried decaf at all?"

"No." Michelle shook her head, "it's not the caffeine, it's the _smell_. I took one whiff of it this morning and I was gagging, so all coffee is off the table."

Humming in understanding, Elise absently tapped her finger against her cheek, glancing at the people as they passed by.

She really appreciated Elise stopping by to kill time with her; the day was dragging on, and business was uncommonly slow. It was barely lunchtime, though, and Michelle was sure that shopping would pick up later in the afternoon. Until then, it was nice to just have some company.

Apparently inspired by her people watching, Elise leaned down to snatch up her bag, leaning against one of the legs of her chair. She dug around, pulled out her sketchbook and tin of pencils, flipping open to a new, blank page. Humming under her breath, she started drawing loose sketches, a woman a few stands away beginning to form, holding an orange.

"So, what day is the doctor appointment?" Elise asked, snapping Michelle out of watching the smooth, even strokes of her drawing.

"Umm, Wednesday." She scratched the side of her nose, thinking, "Around 1. We'll probably go out for lunch after, if you want to meet up."

"Yeah, that'll be nice!"

"Anyway! Less talking about me!" Michelle cradled her cheek in her hand, eyes drifting back down to Elise's sketching. She had started to draw something new, now; the kind eyed, dark-skinned man at the flower stand, tall and proud behind his many blooms.

"How is Francis doing? Still doing great abroad?"

"Oh, yes." Her mouth curved into a fond smile at the thought of her boyfriend, "the internship is treating him well. France isn't too bad, either. He should be back home in time for our anniversary, so that's something to look forward to!"

"That's so nice!" Michelle snickered, "It's still so funny though. Francis in France. It's like it was meant to be."

"It helps that his mom is French; it gave him a leg up in the language department, at the very least, so he got to skip that part and went right into the paid internship."

"God, I still can't believe he's getting paid so much to _cook_." She sighed loudly, "Francis is so lucky, I'm glad he was able to find an internship that actually _pays_."

Elise hummed absently in agreement, and Michelle took that as a sign that she was really getting into her sketching, so she fell silent, just watching her friend work. She had to turn away when a handful of people wandered over to her stall, perking up as her items garnered interest.

By the time Elise came back to her, Michelle had sold two jars of honey, a few bars of soap, and a bag of honey candies. She would take this as a good sign that business was starting to pick up for the moment.

"Are you nervous?" She suddenly asked her, making Michelle startle a little at the question.

She licked her lips, the painful twist of nerves in her gut making her squirm. "Ah…" She exhaled quietly, and her hands shook a little. "Well."

Honestly, she tries not to think about it. It's not like stressing out about it wouldn't do any kind of good for her, so she tries to stay positive. But sometimes it creeps up on her, the fear stealing her breath, making her cold.

Of course she's nervous. She's scared, so worried that she's messed up before she's even begun that it makes her stomach hurt.

The worry must be showing on her face now, because Elise frowned, putting her pencil down on the table.

"Michelle –" she started, voice full of guilt, but Michelle stopped her, shaking her head.

"No, don't worry about it, it's fine." She let out a shaky breath, wringing her hands together as if that would wipe away the trembling.

"I am nervous." She finally says, "of course I'm nervous. How could I not be? The closer I get to this appointment, the more nervous I get. But I –"

She stretches out, runs a thumb around the edge of a jar of honey. "I've done the best I can, now. And even though I'm nervous about this appointment, I'm desperate for it, too. I just want to know I haven't done too much damage."

Hissing out a breath, Michelle leaned back into her chair, looking out at the bright blue sky.

"Whatever happens happens." She sighs, "I've just got to be optimistic and hope that it's not too late."

"Yeah." Elise's voice was tiny, still tinged with guilt, "I get it."

Plucking her wallet from her bag, she quickly rose to her feet. "I'm gonna go get us something to drink, okay?"

She moved around the table, looking over her shoulder, "Is lemonade alright with you?"

Michelle could feel the silent apology in her actions, and her lips curled up in a faint smile, brushing her hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah, lemonade would be great. Thank you."

She stared at Elise's back with a faint smile, until she vanished into the crowd and her attention was grabbed by a child, pointing at her stall and begging their mother for candy.

-o-

Wednesday came faster than they expected.

Matt woke her up with a cup of green tea and a kiss, and he tried not to show it, but he looked as nervous as she felt. It was still early, a little before ten in the morning, so they moved to the kitchen, Michelle deciding to make pancakes for breakfast.

They were quiet as she whisked the batter, waiting for the skillet to warm up. Matt was staring out the window, looking over the backyard, and he looked tired.

Michelle knew that he didn't sleep well last night, felt him toss and turn fitfully as she dozed in and out through the night.

She'd let him make coffee, if she could, but she _really_ doesn't want to start the day with a bout of puking. She feels nervous enough to vomit as it is.

The kitchen quickly filled up with the sweet scent of pancake batter as Michelle poured a few saucer sized circles into the pan. She sipped at her tea and waited, watching as bubbles slowly rose to the surface. Behind her, she heard Matt rise to his feet, the quiet 'clink' of plates as he grabbed them from the pantry to set the table.

"Do you want bacon?" He asked quietly, and she shook her head, "No. I feel like meat would be a bad idea right now. I wouldn't be mad at some fruit though. Bananas would be nice."

Michelle flipped the pancakes, gesturing for a plate to put them in when they're done. Matt left a plate on the counter near her elbow, and she murmured her thanks as he moved back to the table. The sounds of him setting the table soothed her, and she felt the jumble of nerves in her stomach fade; it almost felt like a normal day, having breakfast together before they went to work.

Sliding the pancakes onto her plate, she moved to the table, just as Matt finished pouring two glasses of orange juice. As she divvied up the pancakes – two for each of them, she honestly wasn't sure they could stomach more than that – Michelle noticed that there was a small saucer of banana slices next to her glass of juice, and she smiled, touched.

It was quiet while they ate, the only sounds in the kitchen being the forks and knives hitting the plate and the soft sounds of chewing. Part of her wanted to fill the room with conversation, but Michelle didn't want to break the peace, to bring back the stress and talk about what the appointment could bring.

When their plates were almost cleared, Matt finally spoke, "do you want to nap for a little bit? We…it's still pretty early. We can get a couple hours in at least."

Michelle considered it, nibbling on one of her banana slices; a nap honestly sounded good, even though she literally just woke up. She couldn't bear the idea of staying up and stressing out for two hours.

"Yes." She said, propping her elbow on the table and cradling her cheek in her hand as she speared another banana slice. "A nap would be fine. No better way to kill time, honestly."

Matt smiled, and she shoved the whole banana slice into her mouth.

They cleared the table after Michelle finished up her fruit, placing the plates in the sink, leaving the used skillet on the stove to clean up later.

Shuffling down the hall, they returned to their room, sliding under their blankets with a sigh. Michelle quickly slid close, scooting until they were pressed from chest to hip, legs tangled together. Matt let her snuggle her head into the crook of his shoulder, winding his arms tight around her waist as they settled. She wrapped her arms around him in return, hands sliding up his back until she cradled his shoulder blades.

Silence.

Michelle let it stretch on for five minutes, fifteen, before exhaling sharply, shifting a little in Matt's arms.

"I'm ridiculously nervous."

It honestly felt good to get it out into the air, and beneath her hands, she felt Matt relax, tension she didn't even know was there leaving his shoulders.

"Me, too." He breathed into her hair, "You have no idea how much."

"I can get some kind of idea," Michelle laughed softly, "given how you were tossing and turning half the night."

Matt's shoulders tensed again, and she could picture his ashamed expression, "aw, no, I kept you up, too? Michelle, I'm sorry -"

"No, you didn't keep me up, not really. It wasn't you; I was kind of in and out all night anyway, it's fine."

He huffed, "it doesn't feel fine."

"That's because you're my big guilty baby. Don't worry about it, it's naptime now."

Matt grumbled for a few minutes more, but it was all for show, relaxing once more into her arms as they fell silent.

The quiet lasted for two more minutes before Matt spoke again in a whisper, "it'll be okay. No matter what, we're gonna be okay."

Michelle didn't respond, but her grip on his shirt tightened, and slowly the tension melted from her shoulders as they drifted off to sleep.

-o-

"How're you doing, Miss Cadeau? Feeling okay?"

Michelle smiled weakly at Doctor Mosely as she laid a sheet of thin blue paper over her lap. "I'm alright," she said quietly, fingers digging into the tissue paper, "really nervous, but that's expected, isn't it?"

"Absolutely," Doctor Mosely agreed, voice warm. "How have you been since I've seen you last? Any discomfort, or new symptoms?"

She shrugged loosely, "my breasts are sore nowadays. And they've gotten _big._ Oh, and the morning sickness has kicked in. And honestly, that's false advertising – it should be called 'all day sickness', 'cause that shit doesn't stop when the morning ends."

Doctor Mosely huffed with amusement, and Matt snorted with laughter, sitting on the small examination table with her, pressed up against her side.

He was originally sitting across the room, in one of the chairs. But Michelle couldn't take the distance, not now, and begged him over with wide eyes and an outstretched hand.

"Alright, so those symptoms are normal, so that's nothing to worry about. Though if the morning sickness gets any worse, let me know and I can get a prescription for you. Try diet changes until then, avoid the things that you know have made you sick so far. Now –"

Doctor Mosely stood and wheeled the large ultrasound machine she'd brought in with her closer to the examination table, and Michelle let out a shaky breath.

"Let's get a look at that baby."

She leaned the examination table back into a reclining position, and Matt had to move, which was the _worst_ , but he pulled a chair as close as possible to the table, gripping Michelle's hand tight between his.

Doctor Mosely rolled up Michelle's shirt, explaining what was going to happen as she went. "I'm gonna need you to unbutton your shorts for me, so I can get access to your lower pelvis. Then, I'm going to put a gel on your stomach, so it'll help me see the baby."

She nodded, unbuttoning her shorts with shaky hands, raising her hips a little to pull them down. Doctor Mosley snapped on a pair of latex gloves as Michelle wiggled her shorts down, turning to pick up a tube of gel.

"Okay, this is going to be cold," She warned her, but Michelle hissed anyway as the cool gel was spread across her skin.

"Alright." Doctor Mosely sat on a stool, rolling close as she plucked the wand off the ultrasound machine, and Michelle gripped Matt's hand as tight as she could as the wand was pressed to her skin.

The wand slid to and fro across the soft planes of her stomach, her doctor staring hard at the screen, lips pursed in concentration. A few minutes in, and the silence was starting to feel suffocating. Michelle was about ready to beg, to plead for her to turn the screen so she can see, so she can _know_ -

Matt's hands were starting to get clammy, but he brushed a soothing thumb across the back of her knuckles, even though he looked as impatient as she felt.

' _Please,'_ she started to pray, ' _please, let there be something, let it be good news, please, please, please –'_

"Ah!" Doctor Mosely's expression cleared, lips curving into a smile, "there they are. They were hiding a bit."

She reached up, turning the screen towards them, and Michelle heard the quiet hitch in Matt's breathing.

"There they are." Their doctor said quietly, "there's your baby."

It was there; right _there_ on the little screen, black and white and _grey_ , a little twitching grey blob that was theirs. All theirs.

Michelle couldn't think. She couldn't move, couldn't speak, just stared and stared and stared at the proof of this thing she and Matt made.

"It's still rather small, so that confirms for me you're at about….eight weeks, probably. So you should be due around April. See, there's the head…arms...the legs…ah, and you see, that spot right there?"

She pointed at the middle of their little blob, at the lightning fast flickering in the center, "that's the heartbeat. Let's see –"

Doctor Mosley pressed a button, and there, filling her ears, the room, loud and _strong_ , so strong –

' _Whoosh - whoosh - whoosh - whoosh - whoosh –'_

The heartbeat.

"There we are." She smiled at them, wand still pressed to Michelle's stomach, "your baby sounds just fine."

And the bottom of Michelle's world dropped out.

-o-

If you asked Matt what happened during the rest of the appointment, he honestly wouldn't be able to tell you.

He felt like he got sucker punched. Untethered, the ground far beneath him as he floated up, up, up. Matt sat there, lightheaded, Michelle's hand still clasped tightly between his own, hearing but not really _listening_ to what Doctor Moseley was saying. Her lips were moving but all he could hear was the strong ' _whoosh – whoosh – whoosh'_ of his baby's heartbeat.

A heartbeat. It had a _heartbeat._

A heart, and a head, and the tiniest beginning of arms. Of legs.

Matt just couldn't believe it.

Doctor Mosely carefully wiped the gel off of Michelle's stomach, still talking, and somehow Michelle was nodding, taking in what she was saying even though she looked like the wind got knocked out of her. She wasn't even squeezing his hands.

He helped her sit up, helped her button her shorts back up with shaky hands as she flattened the hem of her shirt back over her stomach, the tips of her fingers grazing. Lingering over what was inside.

' _Whoosh – whoosh – whoosh -'_

Matt quietly let out a shaky breath.

Doctor Mosely noticed, of course, and smiled sympathetically at him. "I know you two were worried. But so far, your baby looks good. Just keep on with what you're doing now. I'll be a call away if you're concerned about something, remember that."

With that, she pushed a small stack of glossy pictures into his hands, and Matt looked down at the pictures of their little gray blob.

Seeing it felt like the ground getting yanked from under him all over again.

"Congratulations." Doctor Mosley smiled, glancing between the two of them, "to the both of you."

-o-

They were dead silent when they returned home, dumping their bags in the kitchen and heading to the living room.

Flopping back onto the couch, they slumped into each other, looking down at the pictures of the ultrasound cradled between them. Michelle gently traced a finger over the outline of their baby's little head, down to their tiny arms, and her breath hitched.

The pictures quickly became indistinguishable as her eyes filled with tears, the glossy squares blurring over as the tears quickly spilled down her cheeks.

She sniffed loudly, and Matt jerked his head towards her, eyes wide.

"I – I was so _w - worried_." She blubbered, covering her eyes as fat tears continued to slide down her cheeks, "All these _weeks_ , I've been _scared out of my mind_ , and – and they're _okay_. They're perfectly okay."

Matt gently picked the stack of photos up off her lap, placing them on the small coffee table in front of them before scooping Michelle up into his arms. He swallowed the tell-tale lump in his throat as he cradled Michelle on his lap, holding her close while she pressed a tear-damp cheek to his neck and sobbed.

"I'm so _happy_." She wailed, "I'm so happy they're okay, I'm so happy that I didn't mess it up, we're so _lucky._ "

"Me, too." He said hoarsely, and oh, god, his voice cracked, and doesn't _that_ just make him tear up faster.

"I'm happy, too," he soldiered on, even though his voice was wobbling, tears starting to slide down his cheeks. "I – I'm glad they're gonna be okay. And that you're okay. I'm so happy. I'm so –"

His voice cracked again, embarrassingly, and Michelle turned further into his lap to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close, his stifled sobbing pressed into the skin of her neck.

He twisted his fingers into the sides of her shirt, pulling her impossibly closer as they rocked side to side, comforting each other, the space full of the sound of their muffled sobs.


	3. fifteen-twenty one weeks

It took a few weeks for Michelle to notice she was starting to show.

September passed quickly, and slowly Michelle crawled from the first trimester to the second. The morning sickness had finally passed, thank _god_ , but now in its place was the desire to eat _everything_. And it was always the _weirdest shit_.

She always thought that pickles and ice cream nonsense was made up, until one night she found herself up at 2am, making a cream cheese and pepperoni sandwich and mourning her life choices.

And she was _always thirsty_. Michelle drank plenty water before, but now she was drinking damn near _gallons_ of it, a huge travel cup filled to the brim always on hand. Because of her increasing drinking habit, and the brand new pressure growing on her bladder, Michelle has to pee _all the time_. Sometimes, to her horror, she leaks.

She's bought pregnancy books, to keep up with the changes happening to her, made notes and highlights certain passages, almost all of the pages dog eared. Sometimes she wakes up at night, gasping, ripping away from dreams about a tiny thing, cold and gray, its chest sunken, not breathing.

It takes her a few hours to get back to sleep after dreams like that; some nights she doesn't go back to sleep at all.

While this is happening, Matt is as wonderful as he's always been.

He reads the books along with her, googling answers for her pregnancy symptoms as often as she is, if not more. When she craves weird shit like gelato with curry sauce, Matt helps make it happen with only the smallest amounts of teasing. The nights she wakes up from nightmares about their baby not breathing, he's there, one hand rubbing soothingly along her back.

They shuffle to the kitchen and make drinks – tea for Matt, warm milk with honey and cinnamon for Michelle – and crawl back into bed, curved toward each other like parentheses as they whisper their worries out into the dark.

So life goes on. Things are going pretty great –

Then one morning Michelle notices her pants won't zip.

She stared at her reflection in disbelief, before looking down at her undone pants in betrayal. "What," she said slowly, "the _fuck_."

Like, _yeah_ , she'd been gaining a little weight; it was no big deal, the books said it was going to happen, and Michelle didn't really mind. A little weight gain didn't kill anyone.

But what the _fuck_. It was October now. It was getting _cold_ , she couldn't _believe_ this.

"What gives?" She huffed, roughly tugging her pants down her legs, kicking them into the corner of the bathroom. Shooting the pants one more betrayed look, she put her hands on her hips, turning back to give a stern glare to her reflection.

"I don't have time for this." Turning to and fro, Michelle blew a strand of hair out of her face in frustration. "Those pants should still fit, I think. It's not like –"

She stopped short as she turned to the side again, hands falling away from her hips and hanging limp at her sides.

There was a bump.

"Oh."

Her voice was tiny, soft with shock, hands hovering uncertainly over her stomach. It wasn't extraordinarily big, just a small rise at the pit of her stomach, just over the waistband of her panties. But it was there. Actual physical proof that something was growing in there, so much more than some physical symptoms.

"Wow." Faint whispers, as the tips of her fingers finally touched her skin, "oh, wow. There you are. That's – wow."

It felt like the ground had been snatched from under her all over again, looking at that small bump, the reminder that this was _really happening_.

Lightheaded from the bright flare of excited panic, Michelle inhaled deeply through her nose, unable to tear her eyes away from that bump. "Well," she whispered at last, "that explains a lot."

' _I'll have to buy new pants_ ,' she thinks wryly to herself, eyes drifting over to the crumpled denim in the corner. The thought quickly left her as her eyes strayed back to her stomach, and she was hit with a fierce desire to call Matt. Michelle wanted to share this with him so badly, to call him right this second and let him know that there's proof she's doing fine, that it's _growing_.

She'll wait though; as much as she ached to tell him immediately, she'll hold off until he comes home from work. The look on his face would be worth all the waiting.

Until then, she couldn't tell Matt – but she could absolutely tell her friends.

One more glance at the mirror and Michelle was moving, skipping to the bedroom to grab her phone and pick another outfit for the day.

The reactions were _exactly_ what she wanted, Marie calling to scream with excitement in her ear for five minutes while Elise sent rapid fire texts, demanding pictures.

She went to work beaming.

-o-

The wait was _undeniably_ worth it.

The farmer's market was closed, now that it was getting colder, so Michelle was starting up her winter job. A receptionist wasn't _glamorous_ , but it kept the lights on.

All day her hand kept drifting down to her stomach, thinking about that soft swell underneath, and just the thought of Matt's reaction had her grinning.

Matt is always home before her during the colder months, the greenhouse he works at closing earlier than where she works, so when she got home that evening he was already in the kitchen, the smell of dinner wafting down the hall.

She yelled out a greeting, dumping her purse in the hall near the door as she moved to the bathroom, ready for a shower; someone vomited in one of the cars on the subway ride home, and she felt like the smell clung to her skin and clothes. It didn't do any favors for her sensitive senses either; if this had happened when her morning sickness was still around, it would have made a bad ride even worse.

Cringing at the thought, Michelle quickly clipped up her hair and covered it in a cap before stepping under the warm spray of the shower. The tiny bump of her stomach caught her eye again, drew her in like a magnet, and she couldn't tamp down her excitement at the thought of showing Matt, at the look on his face.

A knock on the bathroom door pulled her from her thoughts, and Matt's muffled voice reached her ears, "Just wanted to let you know dinner's done. I'll make a plate for you whenever you're ready."

"Go ahead; I'll be done in a few minutes," she called back.

Grabbing her body wash, the timbre of his footsteps faded down the hall, and Michelle did a quick wash before hopping out of the shower. Wrapped tight in her towel, she shivered at the cool air, leaving the bathroom in a gust of steam as she quickly retreated to their room, rubbing herself down with lotion and throwing on a clean pair of underwear before throwing on her robe, pulling the belt tight around herself.

Matt was just placing a glass next to a steaming plate when she entered the kitchen, throwing a fond smile her way as she took a seat at the table.

"How was your day?" He greeted her, sinking into his own seat while she took a sip from her glass. "It was fine. Nothing really interesting happened today; receptionist jobs aren't as exciting as the farmer's market."

Michelle hummed in pleasure at the scent of spaghetti that wafted up to her. "How was work for you?"

"Aaah, about the same. Work gets kind of boring when it's colder."

"Yeah, until the holidays come around."

"Ugh, god, don't even bring it up. The guests are always so – _Jesus_. We always keep having conversations about _work._ When did we get like this?"

"That's adulthood, honey." Michelle snickered at the disgusted expression on his face, shoving a forkful of spaghetti into her mouth.

"Well, I'm not a fan. Don't we like TV shows? Read books? Watch movies? Why don't we talk about that over dinner anymore?"

"Well, we _could_ , but the last time we talked about movies there was almost a fight over star wars."

"That's because the prequels are _bad_ , Michelle, I don't know why there had to be a fight!"

"They were charming, Matthew! The originals don't scream 'perfection' either!"

Matt's expression was so offended that she snorted, spewing a small amount of food across the table, which made him laugh in return.

She sat back with a sigh when her plate was empty, using the last bite of her garlic bread to sweep up a smear of sauce before popping it into her mouth. "That was so good. Thank you for cooking."

Matt smiled as she stood up, grabbing the empty plates and taking them to the sink to rinse them off. "Happy to do it. I'm glad that you liked it."

"Of course, your cooking is great. Even when it's just plain old spaghetti."

He laughed, and she smiled at the sound, warm all over as she set the freshly rinsed plates into the sink. Turning to face him, the edge of the counter pressed against her lower back as she stared, fiddling with the tie of her robe. He stared back, cheek cradled in his hand, looking warm and mussed and sleepy. Matt smiled, tired and lopsided, and her gut twisted.

She loved him so much it was stupid. She couldn't wait to tell him.

"Hey, come here." She hopped up onto the counter, and Matt raised an eyebrow at her, questioning.

"I want to show you something." She huffed, answering his silent question, "it's important. C'mere."

He heaved himself up with a sigh, shuffling over to Michelle as her hands dropped back to the tie of her robe. "What is it?" He asked when he was in arm's reach, and her legs fell open slightly. She wanted him closer, but he'll be in her space soon enough.

"Well…" She loosened the ties of her robe, letting it fall open as she shrugged it off her shoulders and let it pool on the counter.

Goosebumps lightly brushed her skin from the slightly cooler air, but the way Matt's eyes went wide and dark was worth it. The atmosphere changed as soon as the robe dropped to the counter, went from relaxed and sleepy to something more charged.

"This was what you wanted to show me?" He asked, voice rough as he moved closer, wedging his way into the space she made for him between her thighs. She shrugged, and certainly didn't miss the way his eyes tracked the sway of her breasts as she moved.

"Are we about to have dessert?" He looked hungry, and his stare made Michelle flush hot and cold with wanting, made her attempt to press her thighs together.

Matt moved even closer, leaning in to hover over her and make her arch back, resting her hands behind her to keep her balance. She couldn't look away from Matt even if she wanted to, and exhaled shakily as a big, warm hand reached out, dragged down the bare skin on her back before winding around and clutching onto her hip, ready to pull her into his arms.

"No."

Matt leaned back a little, eyebrow starting to rise in concern, but Michelle quickly dispelled his concerns with a shake of her head. "Not yet. I still have to show you – here."

She grabbed his hand, the one still clutching at her hip, and pulled it over to her stomach, shivering at the drag of fingertips across her skin.

"Here." She pressed his hand into her skin and waited, knowing he'd see it in a moment.

Brow crinkling in confusion, Matt slowly looked down, and his eyes dragged over the slope of her breasts, down, down, down to her stomach, and the way her back was arched from him leaning over her helped him see –

"Oh."

He suddenly sounded winded, like all the air got punched out of him, and his thumb gently brushed under her navel.

"Oh, wow."

Michelle was so glad she waited to tell him in person. His eyes were wide, mouth dropped open in awe as he brushed a reverent thumb against her skin, over and over and over. She oddly felt filled to the brim with some strange pride, and wanted to preen, wanted to arch her back more, present their small bump proudly.

"I know." She agreed instead, voice soft as she reached a hand out to run through his hair. "That's the baby. That's our baby."

His eyes drifted back up to hers, and the reverence and wonder she saw made her grin, her hand drifting from his hair to cup his cheek. He kept flipping back and forth, from her face to her stomach, and Michelle let him have his moment, gave him time to gather his words.

Instead of words, he gave her a kiss, pressing his lips against hers with crushing urgency, both hands gripping onto her hips and groaning. Michelle licked her surprised moan into his mouth, and he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth in response, gently nipping at the flesh.

"I love you." He croaked hoarsely when they broke apart, leaning back in to press a hot, open mouthed kiss into the crook of her neck. "I love you so much. More than anything. I can't – I just –"

The noise he let out was overwhelmed, and he swooped back up to kiss her again furiously, the hands at her hips pulling her until her chest was flush against his. Winding her arms around his neck, Michelle eagerly opened her mouth to the gentle strokes of his tongue, so different from his frantic kissing and tight, grasping hands.

She was so caught up in it that she didn't really notice his hands drift lower until his fingers gripped onto her ass, pulling her off the counter and hitching her onto his hips. Michelle squeaked in surprise, breaking off the kiss as she tightened her arms around his neck.

"A little warning would be nice, yeah?" She gasped, curling her fingers into his shirt, but Matt didn't respond as he pressed small, biting kisses into her neck, teeth scraping gently against her skin, making her shiver.

"Sorry." He said lowly, and he didn't sound sorry _at all_ ; he sounded ravenous. She's not sure when they entered the living room, but soft fabric was rubbing against her bare back as Matt laid her onto the couch, hardly letting her go as he hovered over her on all fours, caging her in.

He stared for a few minutes, eyes roving her face, before leaning down and pressing a lush kiss to the hinge of her jaw. She shivered, and he moved down, lips sliding against the curve of her neck, nipping at her collarbone and skipping down the space between her breasts.

When he got to her stomach, he lingered, peppering reverent kisses across her skin, over the tiny bump, and when he looked up at her his eyes were dark, a thin ring of periwinkle swallowed by black.

"Do I get to have dessert now?" He murmured into the jut of her hipbone, fingers hooking into the band of her panties, and Michelle shivered at the heat of his hands.

She slowly parted her thighs in answer, opening up the cradle of her hips, and her breath hitched as Matt slowly pulled the fabric away and the wet heat of his mouth slid down.

-o-

After that, Matt was obsessed with her stomach.

He couldn't keep his hands off her, eyes always going soft and round with wonder as his palms roved across her growing stomach. There have been plenty mornings where she woke up to him curled up low against her abdomen, whispering into the skin to their baby inside.

Matt was as dazzled about the growing proof of her baby as she was, and it was endearing every time.

Halfway through the second trimester found them curled up on the couch on one of their days off, rain pattering the windows while Michelle read through one of her pregnancy books for what felt like the hundredth time.

"So, we should totally have sex." She announced, breaking the silence.

Matt looked up from his phone, brow wrinkled in confusion. "We…do…?" Matt replied. "Like…all the time?"

"No, like – well, yeah. But we should have sex _more_. The book _says so_." She waved it before her like it was gospel, "once the baby gets here, we won't be able to spend as much time together."

"But…we spend lots of time together. I took you out on a date to the movies a couple days ago."

Michelle sighed, long and suffering, " _Matthew_ , the book _says so_."

"Oh, well, if the book says so, who am I to say no?"

He certainly deserved the hard whack to the shin, in her opinion, and Matt, laughing, pretended to groan in pain.

But really, only part of it was pretend; getting hit in the shin with a book really does hurt.

-o-

If Matt was shaken up when Michelle started showing, he _really_ wasn't prepared the day they felt the baby move.

But to be fair, neither was Michelle.

It was an early morning in November, both of them bleary eyed and stumbling to the kitchen to have a quick breakfast together before going to work. Michelle blindly went to the pantry to grab a box of cereal while Matt started up the coffee maker, shooting a silent prayer of thanks for Michelle's morning sickness going away, lifting the coffee ban from their house.

Box of cereal in hand, Michelle shuffled over to one of the cupboards to grab a bowl, hand absently rubbing against the swell of her belly. At twenty one weeks, her small nightshirt was stretched tight over the curve, robe hanging messily open and framing her. Matt stared at her as he stirred his coffee, eyes glued to her stomach while she stretched up to grab a bowl.

Placing her bowl on the counter, she reached out for her cereal and suddenly froze, a strange look passing across her face. After a minute, she made a noise, something that was a cross between a squeak and a sneeze, and Matt looked up in concern, placing his mug on the table.

"B – Bless you?" Matt said, the phrase coming out as a question because he really wasn't that sure if Michelle had actually sneezed or not.

Slowly, she turned to him, eyes big as saucers, and abandoned her endeavor for cereal to stumble to his side at the table, arms outstretched.

Wrapping her arms around his head, Michelle yanked him forward, pulling him close until his cheek was pressed against the curve of her stomach. Bemused, Matt placed his hands on her hips, fingers digging into the soft fabric of her robe.

"…Michelle?"

It's not like this sudden hug wasn't _nice_ or anything, but it sure was leaving him confused. "I'll never say no to one of your hugs, but what brought this on? Are you oka –?"

Something moved against his cheek.

It was barely noticeable, just a light flutter of a thing, but it still knocked the hell out of him, stole all the breath out of his lungs.

He didn't even notice his grip on Michelle's hips tightening until she ran a soothing hand through his hair.

Struggling to loosen his shocked grip, to unclench his fingers from her robe, Matt leaned back, looking up into Michelle's eyes that were as shocked and wide as his, and felt awed of her all over again.

Her eyes started to shine over with tears as she gave him a tremulous smile. "These past couple weeks I've been thinking that it was just gas." She choked out, trying to use a little humor to cover up the fact that they were both about to start bawling.

"Wow." Matt leaned back in, pressed his cheek back against the curve of her, and waited. A little flutter brushed against his cheek again, and he let out a shaky breath, wonder-struck.

"Oh, wow."

Thin streaks of sunlight were peeking into their kitchen, and the room began to blend into a gold blur from his tears.

He straightened up again and looked up at her, thumbs rubbing reverent circles into Michelle's hips.

Tears spilling over, he grinned up at her, and she beamed right back, cheeks already damp with joyful tears.

They were both a little late to work that day.


	4. thirty-thirty eight weeks

"I go away for a few months and suddenly you're pregnant."

"Well, it's not like I did this on purpose!"

On the screen of her phone, Francis laughed, looking down, down, down at her from the rise of her stomach. Michelle had gotten tired of holding her phone as they talked, so she decided to put her belly to use, turning it into a precarious shelf for her phone to rest.

"Besides, it's not like you're _just_ finding out." Michele continued, "I sent you a picture of the ultrasound with everyone else's, and I _know_ you got it."

Elise had made sure to inform her of that, happily; she sent her the recording of Francis ugly crying over their video chat and everything.

Francis' grin was sheepish as he scratched the side of his nose, "well, yes, but still! It's so shocking! By the time I come back home, you'll have a whole entire _baby_."

"Can't come soon enough, really." She muttered, shifting in place on the couch, trying to stay comfortable.

Matt was at work, and Michelle had a day off. She had plans with her mother in a few hours, to go shopping to buy a few things for the nursery, and while she waited, Michelle had decided to call Francis.

It was the end of February now, winter slowly moving into spring, and Michelle was seven months in and pushing eight, finally hitting the third trimester. Her stomach was _huge_ now, and felt like it had its own goddamn orbit; she's really not supposed to be lying down on the couch the way she is now, has to stay as upright as possible so the baby doesn't crush her _too_ much.

But damn it, this was the only way her back would stop hurting, so she will lie however the fuck she wants for just _ten minutes_.

The baby decided that that would be the _perfect_ time to make their presence known, a well-placed kick pushing out against the skin of her stomach. The discomfort was worth seeing Francis' eyes bug out, mouth dropping open in shock.

"Holy shit." He whispered, watching her skin stretch and ripple at the baby's movements with fascinated horror. "That's – holy shit, that's horrifying. That thing is _inside you_ , oh my god."

"Yeah, it doesn't feel too great on this end, either." Michelle hummed, lightly stroking her stomach as the wriggling inside calmed down, "They're slowly crushing me right now. I'm gonna have to sit up in a minute."

"Do you know if it's gonna be a boy or a girl?"

"Nah. We've had a lot of chances to find out, but we want to be surprised. It's been the theme of this pregnancy, so we might as well keep it up."

Plucking her phone off her stomach, Michelle slowly heaved herself up, scooting into an upright position and sighing in relief as it took some of the weight off her chest.

"I really can't wait to be done." She sighed, "As nervous as I am, I'm really over not being able to see my feet."

"You're almost done." Francis soothed, "just two more months. Anyway, bring me up to speed – what baby things do you need? Have you thrown a shower yet?"

"Ugh, I really didn't want to go through all that. I had to strong- arm my mom into it, but a baby shower is out; just send me diapers and gift cards."

"That's doable. Want some clothes, too?"

"Yeah, it wouldn't hurt. It'll still be kinda cold when the baby's born, so best to be prepared. Make sure they're gender neutral. Right!" Michelle smacked her thigh, "I'm done talking about me and my spawn –to – be. Now it's time to talk more about you. Is France as glamorous as they advertise?"

Francis snorts, "pah, hardly. I can see why mama left. It's got a few bright spots, though."

"Like the food?"

"Absolutely the food."

Michelle sighed with longing at the thought, "I bet all the cheese is nice. I miss cheese. And chocolate. I miss junk food in general, honestly."

"I'll bring you all the fancy French cheese and chocolate your heart desires when I come back." Francis vows, and Michelle beams at him, cradling her phone in her hands. She missed Francis; she was happy that he got to have this experience, but he was her oldest friend, her _closest_ friend, and having him so far away, _especially_ now, chafed a little.

"Ahh, Francis," she sighed, voicing her thoughts, "I miss you. This internship sucks."

His face softened at her admission, "I miss you, too. I'll be back to bug the shit out of you before you know it, don't worry."

"You better bring your big boy godfather pants along with you when you do."

This time, Michelle had the pleasure of seeing Francis ugly-cry in person.

-o-

Michelle had just finished saying her goodbyes to Francis when the doorbell rang, announcing her mother's arrival.

Shoving herself onto her feet, she waddled down the hall to open the front door and let her mother inside. Noelie Cadeau was a short woman with close cropped hair, grey at the temples, and the source of Michelle's eyes and smile. She's lost count how many times she's heard how much she looks like her mother when growing up.

"Aaaah, let me in, let me look at you! Good lord is it cold."

Michelle shuffled by, giving her mother enough room to squeeze into the entryway, and closed the door as she took off her coat.

"You look wonderful." After hanging up her coat, she reached out, cupping her daughter's face between her hands, "A little tired, though. Have you been resting?"

Michelle made a face, "I try, but now I get heartburn in the middle of the night. It wakes me up. That or I just can't get comfortable."

Tutting under her breath, her mother placed her hands on her hips, "we're gonna have to buy you some tums," she said, stern. "Those are safe to take. And do you have a good body pillow?"

"I have two."

"Well, it's about to be three."

A laugh burst out of her, exasperated and full of affection, "okay, mom. Do you want something to drink before we go? A snack or anything?"

"Just a glass of water would be fine, thank you."

Michelle slowly made her way to the kitchen, her mother at her heels, and she grabbed a glass from the cabinet as her mother sat down at the table.

"How's dad doing?" She asked, turning to the fridge to grab a pitcher of water, pouring the glass halfway.

"Oh, he's doing just fine. Enjoying retirement, at least. He wants to take me on a cruise for our anniversary. A cruise!" Her mother shook her head, as though the thought was silly, but the smile on her face said otherwise.

She beamed at her mother while she tried to hide her smile behind her glass, "aw, mom, that sounds nice! A cruise would be good for you, you'd have fun!"

Her mother scoffed, but her smile wasn't going anywhere, so Michelle paid no mind to her disbelief; she'll be getting vacation pictures in droves.

"Alright, now, enough of that." Draining the last of her water, her mother stood and put her empty glass into the sink. "Are you ready to head out now?"

"Yeah. Just let me grab my coat."

-o-

"Is there anything important that you need for the nursery?"

Michelle hummed at her mother's question, absently rubbing a blanket between her fingers; it was a pale robin's egg blue and soft as a cloud, adorned with a pattern of tiny silver sheep, and she really wanted to buy it.

"Nothing huge, no." She finally answered, giving in and tossing the blanket into the basket her mother had over her arm. "I just need, like, blankets and clothes and stuff. Nothing really major, that's been taken care of"

Their friends took thorough care of that, making sure they wouldn't be left wanting for any baby supplies. Alfred, Marie, and Arthur gave them a gift card each; one for Target, one for Once Upon A Child, and one for Amazon. Al and Matt's mother called her up one day, and quietly offered the crib she saved after Al was born. Michelle already knew that her mother still has most of her baby clothes, folded and stored with care in the attic.

Elise and Matt gave her the biggest surprise of all, coming home from work one night to the two of them grinning and spattered in paint, pushing her down the hall to see that the second room had been cleared out and turned into a nursery. The walls were painted a soft, buttery yellow, little bees dabbled across the walls and gauzy white curtains framing the window. A soft cream rug stretched across the floor, and the crib gifted to them had been set up, sanded and repainted, and was placed in front of the window.

Michelle had never cried so hard in her _life._

So no, their baby really wouldn't be wanting for anything, and all Michelle was picking up were soft odds and ends as she slipped into nesting mode.

"What about you? Do you need clothes or anything?" Her mother gave her a once over, eyes sharp, and frowned at the shirt she was wearing. It was one of Matt's, white with blue stripes, and stretched over her globe of a belly; she had taken to stealing more and more of Matt's clothes as the months went on.

She shuffled under her mother's gaze, caught. "Well, I mean – I dunno, I guess I need a few, uh –"

Hitching the basket back up, she reached out and grabbed Michelle's arm, and with stern tugging, they made their way to the maternity clothes.

"You can't just keep wearing Matthew's clothes, for goodness' sake, Michelle – what would he have to wear? Come on, now, we're just going to get a few things."

-o-

The amount of money that was spent on her was _insulting_.

" _'Just a few things'_ , she says." Michelle mutters under her breath, putting the _sixth_ bag of maternity clothes into the trunk of her mother's car, " _'We're not going to get that much'_ , she says. Mama, this baby will be here in two months, I don't need all of these clothes _now_."

Her mother raised an eyebrow at her, opening the passenger door so Michelle can ease her way into the car.

"Well, I'm sure there will be more children in the future, won't there? With _proper planning_."

The question left Michelle staring at her mother with her mouth hanging open, gobsmacked.

Well, it's not like she _hasn't_ thought about more, of course she has – a little boy, with her coloring and Matt's sweet, soft eyes. Or a girl, with a riot of curls and Michelle's eyes and nose, Matt's smile.

Of course she's thought about more children; she'd be open to it, later on. It wouldn't be anything crazy, like a whole soccer team of Cadeau-Williams children, but at least two. Three, if she felt like pushing it. Maybe even a dog, later on.

Just the typical, stupid American Dream.

Michelle licked her lips nervously, shuffling under her mother's intense gaze, "there might be more," she answered, cautiously. "Later, though. A lot later. We'll see how it goes."

Her mother nodded, satisfied with her answer, and turned back to put the last of the bags in the car, "now you'll be prepared for whenever that happens. Use what you need, store what you don't. Simple as that."

The sound of the trunk slamming shut just added another layer of finality to the conversation, and Michelle stood in bemused silence as her mother led the cart to the cart return. "Get in the car and start it up!" she called over her shoulder. "You don't need to freeze yourself waiting for me."

"Your grandma is something else, let me tell you," Michelle muttered to her stomach as she waddled to the passenger side of the car, digging around in her coat pocket for the keys. "Already bringing up more grandkids, pressuring your poor mama –"

"You're not talking quietly enough!" Her mother hollered, "Keep bad mouthing me to my grandbaby and you can pay for your own lunch!"

"Mom, no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I take it all back!"

-o-

Back at Michelle's home, clothes and baby items quickly put away, they lounged on the couch, Michelle sighing in relief as her mother rubbed at her swollen ankles.

"Ah, child!" Her mother tutted loudly, "why didn't you let me know about this?

"I didn't think it was a big deal!" she protested weakly, sinking back into the couch cushions at the glare she received at her answer.

"Tuh! This child of mine, stubborn as her father."

"Hey, now, don't pin it _all_ on dad. Some of it is you, too."

Michelle snickered at the stink eye she received, which made her mother's stern demeanor crack, chuckling softly along with her. Her laughter was soon cut short by a shove in her middle, stealing her breath.

"Woah, shit – ow! Mom!"

"Watch your mouth."

She rubbed at her forehead, smarting where her mother flicked her, until another shove had her sitting up, wrapping her arms around her belly.

"Oh, oh, oh," she huffed, sliding her hands across the expanse of her stomach, "looks like someone's waking up from a nap. Mom, come here, feel -"

Michelle reached out, grabbed her mother's hand and placed it on her belly just in time for another ripple of movement, the baby shifting and turning. The awed look that comes across people's faces never gets old, and she smugly guided her mom's hand towards every press of an elbow, or tap of a foot.

"Wow. That's –" Her eyes were unmistakably shinier, "that's probably uncomfortable. I remember, I _know_ it isn't."

"They're crushing my insides," Michelle agreed, fond, "I'm probably gonna have to get up to pee in a minute."

"Wow." Her mother didn't take her hand off her stomach, fingers twitching at every move the baby made. She sniffed, rapidly blinking to keep the tears at bay, and Michelle felt her eyes water in response.

"This happened much too soon." Her mother finally said, "And I'm still a little upset that you and Matthew were so careless. But –"

She reached out with her free hand, gently touched her daughter's cheek, "regardless, I'm happy. Happy for you, and proud. _So_ , proud. You'll be a wonderful mom, I know it. It'll be hard, but I know you can do it."

Now she really _was_ starting to cry, and Michelle grabbed her mother's hand, pressing it closer to her cheek.

"Thanks, mom." She sniffled, "thank you. That means a lot, that means so much, thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby. Come, now, let's get you up – I'll help you with dinner. It'd be good to see Matthew, too, before I head home."

Wiping the stray tears off her face, Michelle shoved herself to her feet, with the help of her mother, and hand in hand they made their way to the kitchen.

By the time Matt was home from work, Michelle was sat at the table as her mother put the roast chicken they made on plates, already loaded with sides and buttered rolls.

"Ah, Matthew!" Quickly wiping her hands on a dishtowel, her mother strode forward, cupping his face in her hands and kissing both of his cheeks. "You look so tired, how are you? It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too, Miss Noelie." Matt smiled as she fussed over him, letting himself be herded to the table. "Sit, sit, Michelle and I just finished cooking –"

"No, no, Miss Noelie, let me – I can get y'all drinks, at least. You two did all this work, rest your feet for a little bit. What do you want to drink? We've got water, juice, wine –"

"Oh, no wine, please, I have to drive soon. Water will be just fine. Tell me how you've been, how was work?"

Michelle closed her eyes, and smiled, at peace, cupping her cheek in her hand as her mother sat by her and their light chatter washed over her.

-o-

Early March brought a temperature spike; odd for the season, but not unwanted.

Matt cursed the temperature rise, because it helped push Michelle towards breaking out one of her maternity dresses.

The blouses, he didn't mind all that much; she looked beautiful in them, always, soft and shaping the curve of her stomach wonderfully.

But the dresses. They were something else.

Matt was sitting in the living room, _trying_ to watch a little television, but really, he was distracted. The window in their living room displayed the backyard, where Michelle was, in their greenhouse; the boots she haphazardly threw on fitting surprisingly well with the dress.

Oh, the dress.

It was a simple white dress; the sleeves draped slightly off the shoulder, and made of the softest cotton he's ever touched. When he first saw it, draped across their bed while Michelle was in the shower, he didn't find it all that impressive.

He changed his tune when she walked past the living room to head to the backyard, hair tied back into a loose bun at the nape of her neck and the fabric of the dress clinging to her still damp skin. Matt didn't even notice when the remote to the television slipped from his nerveless fingers.

Now here he was, craning his neck, glued to the window as he watched Michelle meander through the greenhouse, checking on the things he so carefully planted. It was hard to look away; she just looked like something from a _painting_ , a beautiful fey thing surrounded by green, smudged and blurred by the slight condensation clinging to the glass.

Michelle was currently rubbing a leaf between her fingers, murmuring under her breath while she absently stroked her belly, and oh, did that dress shape her stomach _beautifully._ For a second, Matt was envious, wishing he had talent like Elise so he could transfer how she looked right now to paper, to canvas, just to immortalize and have the world see her like he did. He was awestruck, full of wonder that this woman chose him, so many years ago; that she decided to keep him, to stay, to be the mother of his child.

And Michelle was just ambling from the greenhouse, not noticing how she's shaken Matt to his core. She slowly made her way up the path, brushing off any stray bits of dirt that could have latched onto her dress; it was a sunny day today, barely a cloud, and the sunlight made her skin glow.

Matt was starting to wonder if he was about to have some kind of heart attack.

Michelle gave him an odd look when she finally entered the house, swaying into the living room after toeing off her boots, "are you okay? You kinda look like you got punched in the face."

' _It kinda feels like it,_ ' Matt thinks faintly. Out loud, he stumbles, "oh, it's just – I just really, uh." He shrugs, helpless, and she gives him a bemused smile at his sudden shyness.

"Wow, you haven't choked on your tongue like that in years."

Moving to where he sat on the couch, she placed on hand on his shoulder for leverage, hitching the hem of her dress up and awkwardly swung a leg over his thighs, carefully scooting forward into his lap. Humming, Matt dragged his hands up her bare thighs before reaching around to lace his hands at the small of her back, pulling her as close as he could.

"My, my." Matt looked down, amused, as the curve of Michelle's belly pressed against his, "I feel like there's just _something_ in between us."

Michelle shot him an unamused look, "that wasn't funny three months ago and it isn't funny now." She said flatly, and Matt felt a gentle push against his sternum. "See, look, baby agrees with me. They think that joke is bad, too."

He smiled down at Michelle's stomach, already besotted, "well, baby's just going to have to live with all of daddy's terrible jokes. I'm sure you'll make it." He unlaced his fingers from behind Michelle, keeping one pressed to the small of her back as he ran a hand down the side of her belly, just in time to feel a shove against his palm.

"Look at that. Baby agrees with me, too."

When he looked up, Michelle's eyes were molten, warm and full to bursting with love. Cupping his face in her hands, she rocked forward, snatching a kiss from his mouth before pressing as close as she could to bury her face in his shoulder. Matt, slightly dazed from the sudden kiss, pressed his cheek against her shoulder in return, lips tingling. She smelled like outside, like the wet earthiness of the plants she ran her fingers over, and her skin was a little warmer from the heat.

"I thought you looked like something from a painting." The admission burst from him, and he felt his cheeks heat up a little, but he pushed on, "when you were out in the greenhouse, with the plants. Just – how your hair looks, and the dress…" He trailed off to run a hand down her side, feeling the soft texture of the dress against his skin, "I kinda wished I could draw half as well as Elise does. Just so I can capture you as you are right now. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Michelle sat up from where she'd buried her face into his shoulder, and her expression was wonderstruck, lips parted slightly in astonishment.

Matt shrugged, a helpless 'well, there you have it' gesture, his free hand wandering back to her thigh and brushing a thumb across her skin.

"Oh, I just –" Matt sighed, adoring, "I just love you so much. It just knocked me out all over again, how much I love you. That you're still with me, that you're giving me this. It was just – so _much_ , all over again. You astound me."

Michelle's eyes shined over with tears as he spoke, and her smile was wide but wobbly. "You and your way with words," she said softly, placing a hand atop the one on her thigh, "how you didn't woo more people in college, I'll never understand."

"Well, being unbearably awkward didn't help my chances much."

"Oh, you weren't all that bad. Snagged me, didn't you?"

"I did." He agreed, brushing a thumb across her skin, "Somehow, I did."

"'Somehow', he says." Michelle snorted, getting a firmer grip on Matt's hand and sliding it higher up her thigh, hitching up the hem of her dress in the process. Matt saw, a thrill trailing down his back, that the bare skin didn't stop the further his hand traveled.

"Sneaky." He chided jokingly, his other hand joining the trek up her dress as his fingers gripped the soft flesh of her hip.

"But isn't this such a nice surprise?" She asked, sweet as sugar, rolling onto her knees while she unlaced her hands from behind Matt's neck, dragging her hands down his chest. Matt raised his hips, helping her out while she deftly undid his pants, not once breaking eye contact.

"It's pretty high up there," he concedes, the admission partially muffled by her kiss.

-o-

Later, Matt draws a bath for her. He even puts her favorite bath melts in and everything, and holds her hands to help her as she eases into the water with a sigh.

"Oh, thank you." Michelle sighed in pleasure as fingers combed through her hair, releasing it from the bun she'd tied it into and clipping it higher up so it wouldn't get wet.

"It's only fair," Matt smiled as he sat next to the tub, clad in only his boxers, the rest of his clothing still scattered across the living room, "you did just kinda fuck me into the couch and all."

Michelle looked horribly smug at that, and reached out to drag one wet finger across his neck, and the _very_ large hickey that she left behind. "I did a _very_ good job," she agreed, terribly satisfied at her work. Matt couldn't complain either; his shoulders still sting pleasantly from the slight scratches she left behind.

Settling further into the tub, Michelle laced her hands atop her stomach, which was poking out of the water like its own little island. Matt leaned against the rim of the tub and dipped his hand into the water, scooping out a handful and dribbling it over her belly, watching the rivulets run down. For a few minutes they didn't speak, the bathroom silent aside from Michelle's humming of nameless tunes and the soft splash of Matt dipping his hand into the water.

"You'll have to get out of the tub eventually." Matt murmured fifteen minutes later, and Michelle cracked one eye open to give him a disapproving look.

"I don't want to."

"The water's starting to get cold. And we have to have lunch. You skipped out on breakfast, so we need to eat."

" _You_ can eat. I'm going to soak in this tub forever."

"I'll make those sandwiches you like." Matt wheedles, "And some lemonade."

Michelle opened her other eye at that, but still looked reluctant at the thought of moving. "My thighs still burn from riding your dick." She sank further into the water, the tip of her chin breaking the water's surface, and she pouted at him, but her eyes sparkled with mirth.

Matt sighed in faux exasperation, lips curving into a fond smile as he cupped a warm hand on the column of her neck, "I'll rub cocoa butter on your stretch marks after we eat," he adds, brushing a thumb where her neck meets her shoulder. There was an imprint of his teeth, there, and he winced slightly, hoping it didn't ache too much.

"You drive a hard bargain, Mister Williams," she said solemnly, "but I'll take you up on your offer. But you have to wash my back before that."

"Deal," he agrees, already reaching for the washcloth.

-o-

A few weeks later, Michelle decides to give Al a visit.

"Good lord," Al marvels as he opens the door, stepping aside to let her waddle in, "I can't believe Matt even let you leave the house. You look like you're about to pop."

"Yeah, well," she huffed, dropping her bag by the door and kicking off her flats, "shut up. What Matt doesn't know won't kill him. Help me to the couch."

"You feelin' alright?" Al asks, taking Michelle's hand and leading her to the couch, where the television was still blaring away. The window leading to the small balcony was open, the curtains fluttering now and then with the warm breeze, the faint scent of blooming flowers drifting in. It was a beautiful April day, the sky as blue as can be and not a cloud in sight, but it seemed to do nothing for Michelle, who sank into the couch with an aggravated sigh, brows crinkled with a frown.

"My back's bothering me." She gritted out, already beginning to shift and rock on the couch, "I think I slept wrong, or twisted it, or something, because it _hurts_." Arching her back as best she could, she grabbed one of the pillows and shoved it behind her, hoping it would take some of the strain off her back.

Al sat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "do you think rubbing it will help?"

"Matt tried that this morning," she sighed, "it helped for a little while, but then my back just tensed up again."

"Maybe a heat wrap or something?"

"Yeah, maybe. Do you have one?"

So Al shot to his feet, off to grab the tube sock Marie had filled with rice and tied off and throw it in the microwave. Fifteen seconds later and he was back, his little homemade heat pack toasty warm and ready to go. Michelle groaned her thanks as Al placed the heat pad where she was hurting most, hoping that would help the muscles loosen up.

For a while, it was nice, the heat a pleasant distraction, but eventually that faded, and Michelle was back to shifting and grunting against the couch cushions, trying to find a comfortable position.

"I can't do this!" she burst out, twenty minutes later, "Al, Al please help me up. I need to move."

"You think that'll help?" Al asked, gripping Michelle by her elbows and gently pulling her to her feet. "I don't _know_ ," she groaned, "so far _nothing_ has helped. But I just – I've gotta move."

With that, she began to pace, grumbling, pressing the heels of her hand into the small of her back as hard as she could, moving in a circle from the living room, to the kitchen, and back again.

Al, still sitting on the couch, followed her movements with a worried frown, "how long has this been happening again?"

"A few hours, I guess," she huffed, "but, I mean – my back always hurts now, it's been aching on and off for weeks. It's only been really bad for a couple days now."

"Do you think coming over a good idea?" Al bit at his thumbnail, concerned, "should I take you to the doctor?"

"I don't think these are contractions. And, like, isn't it too soon, anyway? Doctor Mosely said I wouldn't be due until the end of the month; I've got a couple weeks left."

Al's expression was still full of doubt when she looked at him on her next go around, and Michelle made a face at him, "don't stress out, it's fine. Can you change the channel to something else?"

"But HGTV!" Al protested, "You love HGTV! They're gonna do a Property Brothers marathon in a bit, come on!"

"I don't want to watch Property Brothers today. I wanna watch a movie."

"There _aren't_ any good movies on today, it's Wednesday!"

"Don't you have a million DVD's? Put something on!"

Al threw his hands up, "fine! But _you_ have to pick the movie, since you wanna watch one so bad."

Michelle scowled at him, and Al scowled right back, not budging an inch for her. "Fine," she snapped, shuffling over to the bookcase in the corner, filled with DVD's.

She blindly plucked one off the shelf, going to the couch to shove it into Al's hands before resuming her frustrated pacing, viciously digging her hands into her back.

Sighing, Al looked at the case in his hands, brightening up slightly when he saw the cover, "Oh, Robin Hood, nice! Even when you're grumpy you still have good taste."

Al quickly put the DVD in, and soon the living room was filled with the sound of whistling. Michelle found herself walking in time to the intro, stepping along to the beat while Al hummed along.

For a while, it was a good distraction, and helped bring Michelle out of her restless pacing. She was even able to sit for a minute, perched on the arm of the couch and leaning against Al for support. About half an hour into the movie, Michelle murmured about needing to use the restroom and swayed onto her feet, meandering down the hall.

Fifteen minutes later, Al looked around and noticed that Michelle hadn't come back, and stood up to look for her, leaving the movie as they sang about the phony king of England.

He checked the bathroom, but it was empty, and after ducking into his room and the office and finding nothing, Al assumed that Michelle had resumed her pacing up front.

His hunch found her in the kitchen, leaning on the counter with folded arms as she groaned low and long under her breath. "My back, god, my back is killing me," she moaned, twisting her hips to and fro to try and alleviate the pain.

Alarm bells started to go off in his head, and Al _really_ started to get concerned. "Michelle, c'mere, let's sit down for a second." He grabbed her hand, placing his other hand at the small of her back, and slowly began to lead her toward the couch, "I'll get you some ice water, and heat up the rice again for you –"

"Al, that _won't work_ , it won't do –"

A muscle in her back twisted something awful, and she buckled forward with a small cry. Al caught her before she could lose her balance, pulled her close just as something splashed to the floor.

Al looked at the small puddle on his kitchen floor, and then looked at Michelle, who was staring at the liquid and the soaked insides of her legs, uncomprehending.

"Fuck." Al finally said, numb shock finally giving way to panic because Michelle's water broke. Her _water broke_ in his goddamn _kitchen_ , her water broke and fuck, oh god, _this baby was coming_.

" _Fuck_." Al said again, with more feeling. "Fuck – okay. Okay, Michelle. Okay, don't freak out, it's fine, it's okay –"

"But the doctor said a couple more weeks," Michelle said, still numb, "she said – she said it'd be a couple more weeks, she – she _said_ , and I –"

"Yeah, yeah she did," Al agreed, quickly pulling a few paper towels off the roll and cleaning off Michelle's legs, "she said a couple weeks, I know, but Michelle, this baby is coming _now_. We gotta get you out of here."

"Oh god." Michelle's breathing started to come in rapidly, a chill settling over her as she was gripped with the strongest panic she's ever felt. Al ripped more paper towels off the roll and threw them to the floor, trying to clean up as best and as quickly as he could before Michelle passed out on him.

"Michelle, breathe," Al urged her, tossing the soiled paper towels into the trash before grabbing her hands, "just breathe. C'mon, let's go put on your shoes and get you out of here."

"My bag –" she was starting to hyperventilate now, hands shaking in Al's, "we – my hospital bag, it's at the house, I need –"

Sucking in a sharp breath, Michelle clutched at Al's hands as a pain the likes she's never felt gripped her, turning whatever else she was going to say into a strangled groan.

"Holy _fuck_ , we need to get out of here _now_." Al quickly strode to the front door, scooping up Michelle's shoes as he slipped his own onto his feet. Returning to the kitchen, he kneeled down, carefully picked her feet up one at a time and slid them into her shoes. "Can you walk?" he asked, anxious, "or is it just better for me to carry you to the car?"

"I can walk, I can – I can do that much, at least."

She shoved herself away from the counter as Al rose to his feet, and he wrapped his arm around her as they made their way to the door. "Okay," he was saying as he scooped up his car keys and herded them out the apartment, leaving the movie on and everything; he'll have to apologize for the half cleaned mess he left later. Arthur and Marie would definitely understand once he got to explaining.

"Okay, Michelle, it's just one step at a time, you've got this."

He helped her down the stairs, one at a time, and Al felt terrible for living on the second floor, wished he could scoop Michelle up and carry her down. But she said she could do this, and he won't disrespect that.

"Good!" He praised when they finally made it down the stairs, "Alright, Michelle, we've just gotta get to the car and then we're home free, okay?"

"Yeah," she huffed, "yeah, it's fine, we can do this, just _hurry_."

So they quickly ambled down the sidewalk to where Al's car was parked, a little red Toyota, and he rushed to the passenger side to unlock it and help Michelle inside. "This wasn't how I wanted my day to go," she groaned, sinking back into the seat while Al shut the door and rushed to the driver's side.

"Yeah, well, same." Al started the car with a harsh twist of his wrist, and the car rumbled to life, "if we make it to the hospital in time, we can marathon Property Brothers while you suffer."

Michelle huffed out a whisper of a laugh at Al's attempt of a joke, and then they were off, Al peeling out the parking lot and onto the street as fast as he dared.

* * *

one more chapter and then it's all done, hell yeah


	5. victoria

this chapter made vinnie2757 cry when I gave it to her to look over, and that's my proudest achievement

also fyi: I'm not a mother. the only baby I have is my dog. I don't know a damn thing about childbirth, and leaned on google a lot for this one. hope it doesn't let you down.

* * *

"Okay, so." Al started, "don't freak out."

Matt raised his eyebrow, cradling his phone to his ear as he gestured to a coworker that he was heading to the break room. After three missed calls from Al, each one only seconds apart, he figured that this was something important. "Why would I freak out? Al, what did you do?"

" _I_ didn't do anything! How come you always think I've done something?"

"You just told me not to freak out. So you must have done something. Did you break something in my house?"

Matt was teasing, only poking fun, and he didn't have to be there to know that Al was starting to get puffed up in frustration, pouting at his phone.

"Matt! No! This is _serious_! I –" Al huffed, and then paused, taking a minute to compose himself, "I'm telling you to not freak out because I've handled it. Mostly. Pretty much. But Michelle's in the hospital."

Matt's gut swooped like he'd been pushed down a flight of stairs, and his knees began to buckle. He blindly grabbed the nearest chair and pulled it closer to him, sinking down before his legs gave out on him and he collapsed to the floor.

"Michelle – what – what happened? Is she okay?"

His tongue felt like lead in his mouth, making him stumble over his words, and another wave of panic came over him, filling his ears with static and making him struggle to tune in to Al's answer.

"She came over to hang with me for a while, but she could barely sit still 'cause her back was hurting so much. And then her water broke all over the kitchen, so we got here as soon as we could."

There was a murmur in the background, and Al turned to respond before going back to Matt, "Michelle says to bring her hospital bag. And that pillow she likes."

The mention of Michelle lessened some of the panic, and Matt took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, "Michelle, is – is she alright? She's doing okay?"

"Mmm, her back still hurts and she's mad cranky, but other than that, she's good."

"I'll be _better_ when Matt gets his ass over here." He smiled when he heard Michelle call out, obviously disgruntled, her voice slightly muffled from distance.

"I'll head out now. I'll get there as soon as I can."

"Don't forget the pillow!"

"I won't forget, Al."

"And call my parents!" Michelle called again, rushed, and Matt got to hear the beginnings of a low groan of pain before it was faintly covered by Al cursing loudly; the sound sent skitters of alarm down Matt's spine all the same.

"Yep. Okay. Get the bag. Call parents. I'll be there as soon as I can."

As he ended the call, Matt noticed that his hand was shaking, and he took a deep, slow breath through his nose, trying to still his racing heart.

"Get the bag, call her parents, go to the hospital." Matt recited, an attempt to calm himself, and stuffed his phone into his pocket as he scrambled to find his boss.

-o-

By the time Matt arrives to the hospital and rushes into her room, Michelle's bag clutched tightly in one fist and her requested pillow shoved under his arm, Michelle was propped up in her hospital bed, laughing at something Al had said while he fed her french fries one at a time.

Al looked over, hearing Matt come in, and his smile grew. "Well, look who finally showed up! About time you finally got here."

"Well, I had to make a few stops." Matt grumbled, dropping Michelle's bag by the foot of her bed. "And, hey, why did the nurse say you were the father?"

Al quickly looked away, cheeks flushed ruddy, as Michelle huffed with laughter, "well, look, we were in a rush! I was freaking out; I just wanted Michelle to get into a room, and I tried to tell them –"

Laughing, Matt waved off Al's panicked rambling. "It's fine, it's fine, don't worry about it; I set the record straight while I was up there. Now scoot over a bit, I've got a pillow to deliver."

Al pouted, sliding off the bed and onto the chair beside it, grumbling about 'mean, ungrateful older brothers', and Matt took a seat on the edge of the bed, finally able to get a close look at Michelle.

She smiled at him, leaning back and letting him look his fill, knowing it would ease any worries he built up on the way to the hospital. She looked, well… _good_ ; a little tired, but good, dressed in a hospital gown and wrapped up in a fluffy robe, the belt tied snugly under her belly. Other than her hair looking horribly windswept, she looked fine, and it loosened the knot of anxiety in Matt's chest.

"Hey there, trouble." Matt said fondly, happily obliging Michelle when she tipped her head up for a kiss. "How are you?"

"I'm alright, for now. The doctor checked on me a little while before you came in; I'm not too dilated yet, so." She grimaced, "this is going to take a while, apparently. They said I probably could've waited at home a little while, but we panicked."

"How far -?"

"Oh, Doctor Mosley said about two centimeters so far?" Her brows wrinkled as she thought, "I've been having contractions every, like…twenty minutes or so-?"

"More like forty." Al interjected, looking up from his rapid texting on his phone, "I've been counting them, and they happen every forty minutes, so far. Almost an hour, really; they haven't gotten any closer yet."

Michelle shrugged in a 'there you have it' way, and then made grabby hands for her pillow, shoving it behind her with a grateful sigh after Matt gave it to her.

"Did you call my mom?" She asked, wiggling against the extra support against the small of her back, "what did she say?"

"She's bringing your dad and they'll be here in about an hour."

"Oh, that's good." She sighed, relaxing further into the pillows at the news, "We might as well call up everyone else. Some company would be good to keep my mind off things for a little while."

Just as she finished saying that, Al's phone began to ring, and he quickly answered it, rising to his feet. "Marie, babe, listen, I can explain –"

After a rapid-fire explanation over the left over mess in their apartment, Al sinks back into his chair with a relieved sigh, just as Michelle's phone started to light up with hasty texts from Marie ( _'what the FUCK Michelle you didn't tell me YOU WERE IN LABOR JESUS CHRIST Arthur and I are on the way AND I'M CALLING ELISE'_ ).

"Hey, Al, I wanna finish those fries." She relaxed further into her pillows, extending her hand to emphasize her request. "And can I get some more later, maybe?"

Al snagged a fry and popped it into his mouth, making a face as he handed the remaining cup to Michelle. "They're really not that great; they're too soggy. Salted fine, though, I guess."

"Excuse you, the soggy fries are the best ones!"

"I mean, they're the best if you like feeling like you just ate something someone pre-chewed for you."

" _Alfred_ , why are you so _gross_? I'm eating!"

Their bickering washed over Matt, making him snicker at their noise. If it's been this fine so far, maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.

-o-

The next contraction hit when Michelle's parents arrived, and Matt's assumptions of an easy delivery vanished when it came.

Arthur, Marie, and Elise had shown up twenty minutes before them, and were lounging across the hospital room, stretched across the bed or sitting in spare chairs. The relaxed air had quickly dissipated as Michelle's greeting to her parents dissolved into a strangled groan.

She arched back into the pillows, trying to put pressure on her back, before curling forward, shuddering with the pain.

Matt had never seen Noelie move so fast in all the time he's known her, rushing to the bed and cupping her daughter's face in her hands.

"Oh my _god_." She gasped when it was over, leaning into her mother's touch. "And these are supposed to get _worse?_ " Shaking her head, Michelle slumped back into the pillows, sliding out of her mother's hands. "I'm already over it, and this is just the _beginning_."

Étienne Cadeau, who was at his wife's heels when she rushed into the room, sat in the open space Elise made for him, crawling off the bed to perch on the arm of the chair Marie and Al were sharing. Her father was big as a house and soft, face gently lined with wrinkles and long, greying dreadlocks tied back into a ponytail, cheeks and nose dusted with dark freckles. He placed a large hand on Michelle's knee, soothing, before reaching out and taking her hand into his.

"You can do this." He said, voice rumbling deep and certain. "You're strong. It'll be rough, but I know you can get through this."

Michelle let out a shaky breath, and squeezed her father's hand in thanks, starting to relax more into the pillows.

"Okay." She breathed, keeping a hold on her dad's hand, "okay. Al, that was still an hour, right?"

"Just about, yeah."

"Right. Matt?" She gave him a gentle nudge with her elbow, "Can you see if we can get some more chairs? Everyone needs a place to sit."

Matt was slow to get up, still stiff with shock from watching Michelle in so much pain – and it was truly just the beginning. It was going to get _worse_.

Just the thought of seeing Michelle hurting for so long was making his stomach hurt.

The last thing he heard before he left the room was Michelle asking her parents to help her off the bed so she could use the bathroom.

-o-

It was almost evening now, the sun beginning to set, and Michelle slowly made her way from being dilated two centimeters to three.

She looked exasperated when Doctor Mosely told her that after examining her, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. "I've been in this bed _all day_ , and I've only got _one centimeter_ to show for it?"

It didn't speed up much as day turned to night, one hour gaps between contractions shortening to forty minutes. Their friends slowly left as the end of visitor hours neared, leaving Michelle with Matt and her parents.

Matt was currently sitting in the chair by the window, looking outside as he held a quiet conversation with his mother on the phone. Her mother was still planted by her side, speaking to her father in hushed whispers as she slowly dozed off. Noelie carefully brushed stray hairs back into place, careful not to wake Michelle from her deserved nap.

"We're going to have to leave soon, for the night."

She hummed in quiet acknowledgement at her husband's statement, eyes never straying from her daughter's face. "We can find a hotel." She murmured vaguely, "something close to the hospital –"

"Miss Noelie, no." Matt rose to his feet, having just ended the call with his mother, and moved closer to where they were sitting on the bed. "You don't have to find a hotel – please, the two of you can just stay at our home. It's not far, and you shouldn't have to spend money for somewhere to stay when there's a perfectly good place to rest close by."

"Matthew, we couldn't possibly intrude –"

"It's not intruding if I'm offering the place. Please, Miss Noelie. It's fine. It's not like I'm going back there tonight, anyway." His eyes slid over to Michelle, still sleeping, before returning to her mother, determined.

"It's fine." He repeated, decision made, "I'll give you a call if anything happens."

"Thank you, Matthew." Étienne put a hand on his wife's shoulder, sliding his hand down her back to soothe, before pushing himself to his feet. He shuffled to the head of the bed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Michelle's forehead. Straightening back up, he took a minute, staring at her, before brushing the back of his hand lightly across her cheek.

"We'll be back in the morning." He finally says, turning to offer a hand to help Noelie to her feet. "As soon as we can. Let us know if anything changes before then."

"I will." Matt promised, "And I'll let Michelle know where you went when she wakes up."

And after giving them the key to the house, they were gone, the room truly silent.

Half an hour later, Matt was just starting to wonder if he should give it a shot and attempt some hospital food before Michelle awoke with a sputtered gasp, squirming onto her side as she shook in pain.

"Okay, okay," she wheezed, arms wrapped around her stomach, "I'm awake, jesus."

She heaved out a sigh, staying on her side as she curled further into the bed, looking up at Matt through her eyelashes. "How long was I out?"

"Not that long. Almost an hour."

"Ugh." Michelle rubbed her cheek against the blankets on her bed, disgruntled, "I wish it lasted a little longer. I'm wiped."

"I bet." Matt crouched down until he was eye level, tucking some hair behind her ear. "Do you want me to go get you something to eat? I was about to head down and grab something myself."

Pursing her lips in thought, she curled into the bed as much as her stomach would allow it, "mmm…more french fries, I guess?"

"You've been eating those a lot today."

Michelle shrugged, "the heart wants what it wants. And I figure since I'm about to push a watermelon out of me, I get to eat as much of whatever I want."

"Oh, please, it's a large cantaloupe at best."

"Yeah, mister six foot four, I'm sure this baby's gonna be a shrimp."

Matt laughed at her words, and gently cradled Michelle's hand between his, noticing the trembling.

"Hey." He said, soft, "Come and walk with me. It'll probably help a bit, getting out of this bed."

"Yeah." Her voice shook a little on the way out, and she hastily cleared her throat before scooting towards the edge of the bed. "Yeah, okay. Help me put my shoes on, please."

She swung her legs off the bed, and Matt stayed on his knees, grabbing the white flats near the foot of the bed. He carefully slid her foot into the shoe, making sure it was on snug, and placed a soft kiss onto the slope of her ankle, repeating the motions with her other foot.

Michelle let out a soft sigh, grabbing onto the hand that Matt offered her, eyes soft as he helped her to her feet. Together they left the room, meandering down the hall at a slow pace, making their way to the elevators.

"Only french fries." Michelle reminded him sternly as he pressed the 'down' button.

"I'll buy you all the soggy french fries you want." He promised her, watching the bright red numbers slowly descend.

Unfortunately, their excursion lasted half an hour before a nurse noticed them, giving them a stern lecture on how it wouldn't be good for Michelle to be on her feet for too long. By then they had already gotten their food, Matt holding the loaded tray while Michelle scooped up a few french fries as they walked. In the end, they went back to the elevators with Michelle in a wheelchair, tray carefully balanced on her belly as they made their way back to the room.

He had just wheeled her into the room, grabbing the tray and placing it on the table next to the bed when Michelle curled inward, groaning as she was taken by another contraction.

"How long was that?" She gasped, after it ended, clutching at Matt's hands; he went to her, quickly falling to his knees and grabbing her as she shook with the pain. "Matt? How long was that?"

"Uh, about –" Frantic, he turned, looking at the clock hanging above the bathroom door, seeing that it was ten minutes past midnight; they left the room around eleven forty. "Half an hour, I think? Maybe forty minutes?"

"Thirty to forty," she mumbled under her breath, "closer. Getting a little closer. Okay." She puffed, wiggling side to side as she kicked her shoes off, shoving herself out of the wheelchair afterwards. Waddling back to the bed, she hopped up, sitting on the edge, and reached for one of the two tall cups of french fries they bought.

"Come on, Matt." She patted the spot next to her on the bed, "we already know this will take a while, so we might as well get comfy."

-o-

Months ago, back when they were still reading up everything there was to know about being first time parents, Michelle made a decision.

They were curled up together on the couch, the barely-there curve of Michelle's stomach pressed tight against his. Rain gently pattered against the windows as Michelle stated her case, waving her phone in the air as she spoke.

"Lots of websites say it's fine, see, Matt? Like, sure it'd be great to not be in a lot of pain, but epidurals might make the labor last even _longer_ , and I don't know if I'm up for that."

Matt bit his lip, doubtful, "but…are you sure you're gonna be alright with this? Childbirth doesn't sound like a walk in the park; I don't want you to be in pain for so long."

"A little pain will be worth it afterwards, won't it? You'll see." Michelle ran her fingers through his hair, soothing. "Next time I'll use painkillers. Alright?"

Warm at the thought of Michelle being open to a next time, Matt gave in, nodding in agreement, and Michelle let him press her into the couch with his kisses.

In hindsight, he feels like he should have pushed for it more.

Because now, a little past dawn, Michelle was pressed tight against his chest, slumped in the cradle of his legs as she shook through another contraction, and Matt felt like he was about to burst from his skin.

It was a rough night with little to no sleep, Michelle's contractions shortening from forty to thirty to twenty minutes as the night went on.

Now, a little past seven in the morning, Michelle's contractions were fifteen minutes apart, and Matt felt like dying looking at her go through so much pain. But he held it together as Michelle slumped into his chest, panting, the hair at her temples curling with sweat. As he looked down at her, gently brushing sweaty bangs out of her face, Matt's stomach sunk when he saw her face streaked with tears.

"Oh, no, Michelle, no." He said, helplessness feeling like a stone in his gut. "It's okay, don't cry, you're doing so well –"

"It's _not_ okay." Michelle's voice broke in the middle, Matt's heart feeling like it was cracking along with it. "It's, _not_ , I – I'm so _tired_ , and it hurts so _badly_ , I can't –"

She shook her head, slumping further into his embrace, and she looked so _tired_ , dark circles smudged under her eyes, her hair in curly disarray around her shoulders, robe long discarded and leaving her in her wrinkly hospital gown.

Matt felt tired right along with her; when she hadn't been shaken awake by a contraction, she needed to pee. She had to vomit. She needed to shit. She wanted food, but then pushed it away, gagging at the smell of the cold fries she requested. Every time she crumbled into tears, exhausted and aching, Matt wanted to cry with her. Sometimes he did.

The streams of sunlight beginning to enter their room felt unbelievably rude to Matt, where they were so shadowed over by fatigue and hurt.

Unwinding an arm from around Michelle, Matt slowly dragged his hand down her back, digging his fingers into the small of her back where he knew she was hurting, starting up a gentle massage. Her relieved sigh was the sweetest thing he'd heard all night, and he'd do this forever if it meant taking away some of her aching.

His free hand wanders down to her stomach, cups the curve, now hanging so low as the baby sinks further down.

' _Come soon.'_ He prays, soft, ' _please come soon. Your poor mamma is hurting so bad and we're so ready to see you -'_

His quiet prayers are quickly cut off as the muscles he carefully loosened in Michelle's back tightened back up, and she sobbed her way through another contraction.

Matt never wants to see Michelle in this much pain for the rest of his life.

When Michelle's parents arrive a couple hours later, Matt is gently giving her chips of ice to suck on, and informing them that Doctor Mosley had just left them, and that Michelle was dilated to eight centimeters.

Still curled up in his arms, Michelle looked triumphant. And exhausted.

Two more damned centimeters to go.

"Michelle." Matt trailed the tips of his fingers down her arm, gentle as anything, until she looked up at him. "Sweetheart, I've got to get up. I need to use the restroom. And eat something. Can you eat? Do you want me to get you anything?"

She hummed, thinking about it, "I guess some yogurt would be alright. And some fruit?"

"I can do that."

Pressing a quick kiss to her temple, Matt slid out of the hospital bed and stretched, sighing when a few satisfying pops relieved some of the ache in his back.

Noelie jumped to action at the opening, moving closer to Michelle, rummaging through a bag she brought with her. "Michelle, come here, let me fix up your hair a little, it's so messy –"

"Ah, well, mom, I've been really busy bringing life into the world to fix it, you know how it is –"

Matt snorted under his breath at her reply as he quietly slipped from the room, quickly making his way down the hall to the elevators.

Though he tried to be fast, he was gone from the room for about forty minutes. When he returned, holding a tray laden with food, Michelle was caught up in another contraction, her flyaway hair now brushed back and in a neat braid tossed over her shoulder. She was clutching onto her parents' hands, letting out a guttural groan, eyes shining with a thick layer of tears.

Matt quickly put the tray down and rushed to her, all thoughts of eating forgotten in the face of her pain.

Her eyes snapped over to him as he neared them, and she struggled back into a sitting position, her parents helping her upright.

"Matt –" she huffed, finally freed from the tight grip of her contractions, "Matt, Matthew, I – mom, dad, get the doctor, I need you to get the doctor. I've gotta push. I think – I need to push."

Matt felt like she knocked him to the floor with those words, his knees feeling like they were about to give out on him.

Noelie sprang to her feet as she spoke, and Étienne followed soon after, but not after pressing a firm kiss to the back of his daughter's hand.

"You can do this." He told her, not breaking eye contact as he squeezed her hand, "We'll be right outside waiting for you."

Michelle knew her parents couldn't be in the room for the whole time, that there needed to be space for the nurses, but that didn't make this any less difficult. Lower lip starting to tremble, she nodded sharply and gave her dad a shaky smile.

"What can I do?" Matt asked after Étienne had left the room, "How can I help? What do you need me to do?"

Michelle waved him over. "Get back in the bed with me. Sit behind me, help me sit up. I'm not going to have this child on my back."

Grunting, she began to straighten up, working to give Matt enough room so he could slide back behind her, the line of her spine pressed tight against his chest.

He wondered if she could feel his heart pounding; he was almost certain he could feel hers.

A few minutes later, when Doctor Mosely entered the room, a few nurses trailing behind her, Matt let out a shaky breath, holding Michelle's hands tight.

This was really happening.

-o-

Earlier that morning, when the sun was barely peeking through the windows and Matt was wiping away Michelle's tears, he thought to himself that he never wanted to see her in such pain for the rest of his life.

Now, he wants to repeat that statement.

He _never_ wants to see Michelle in this much pain for the rest of his life.

Childbirth is a fucking nightmare.

Matt breathed in slowly, letting Michelle squeeze the life out of his fingers as she bore down, a scream the likes he'd never heard tearing her throat as Doctor Mosely calmly counted for her in a firm tone.

"– And breathe."

Michelle leaned back, taking deep, shaking breaths, and Matt ran a soothing hand along her thigh, gently squeezing her fingers in encouragement.

"Alright, Michelle, you're doing great." Doctor Mosely soothed her. "In a minute I'm gonna want you to push again, a gentle one this time, okay? Now, one, two, three – gently….gently…."

And so it went.

For almost an hour, Matt was front and center stage to an experience he can't even find the words to describe, Michelle making sounds he's never heard before; low, animal things, growls and grunts and keening cries coming from deep in her chest.

He pressed fervent kisses to her sweaty temple as Michelle grasped his hand, feeling so helpless in the face of all her pain.

Helpless, but honored, too.

Childbirth was a fucking nightmare. But it was also transcendent, filling the room with an aura he couldn't describe; like they were on the cusp of something. A great, deep breath before the leap.

Over an hour and a half in and Michelle was flagging, sagging into his chest, weeping.

"I can't do it." She sobbed, "I can't, I'm so tired, I don't know if I can –"

"Honey, gimme your hand."

At the gentle command, she placed a shaky hand in Doctor Mosely's outstretched gloved one, sniffling, and watched as she directed her hand between her legs and ran the tips of her fingers over something wet and soft.

"You feel that?" Doctor Mosely looked up into Michelle's wide eyes, "That's them. That's the baby. Two more big pushes and then the hard part's over. Okay? Can you do this?"

Michelle set her jaw and gave a determined nod, pressing back into Matt's chest. "I can do this."

Doctor Mosely smiled at her, "yes, you can. Alright, now, I want you to push again for me –one, two, three –"

Second wind achieved, Michelle bore down once again, groaning deep and low in her chest. Matt held her up, hands shaking, and he fiercely whispered in her ear how well she was doing, how strong she was, how much he loved her –

"Alright, Michelle, the head's out. Just one more push, okay? One big push! One, two, three – push, push, push!"

"Oh god, oh god, holy shit, oh my god-" Matt hissed under his breath, panicked, as Michelle pushed down for the last time, a final, exhausted scream rattling her chest.

And there, in the echoes of that ringing scream, came a baby's sputtering cry.

-o-

Victoria Noelie Williams was born on April 7th, a little after eleven in the morning. She was a little small, born around seven pounds and a little over seventeen inches long. Though she was still slightly covered in blood, she definitely had her mother's coloring; however a thick patch of curly, dirty blonde hair was plastered to her skull.

She was still crying, the noise slightly indignant, and though she was still bloody and matted and covered with a white, filmy fluid, Matt thought she was the most perfect, beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Oh, wow." Michelle said shakily as they placed the infant on her chest, looking like someone knocked the hell out of her, "Oh my god. Oh _wow,_ Matt, look. Look at her. Oh my god."

Her voice broke on the last word, and awed tears streamed down her face. Matt felt just the same, gobsmacked in wonder of this whole tiny new thing they made. He didn't know when he started crying – probably around the same time Michelle did, honestly- but it certainly didn't stop when he reached out and watched his baby's impossibly tiny hand wrap around his finger.

"Oh my god." He choked out, pressing his wet cheek against Michelle's, "hi, baby. Oh, wow. Oh _wow_."

Matt didn't know what else he could say to express this suffocating happiness, and turned to give Michelle a fierce, grateful kiss, the salt of her exhausted, victorious tears catching on his lips.

They didn't really pay attention when Michelle had to pass the afterbirth, Doctor Mosely pressing gently on her stomach and instructing her to push. Matt doesn't even remember one of the nurses asking him to climb out of the bed so they could stitch Michelle up. They were both too busy checking over their new baby, brushing hands over her skin, counting each finger and toe, rubbing each tiny perfect nail.

"She's got your nose, look at her." Matt murmured, unbelievably pleased; he adored Michelle's nose.

"Well, that's definitely your hair color." She ran a hand down Victoria's impossibly tiny back, "I hope she has your eyes."

Matt said nothing, just pressed one, two, three rapid fire kisses to the apple of her cheek.

Eventually, Victoria had to be taken away to get cleaned and vaccinated, which was the worst ten minutes of Matt's life, honestly.

But Victoria came back to them, in the end, clean and swaddled, and was placed back in Michelle's arms for them to continue to fawn over her.

Michelle's parents were brought back in the middle of their doting, and she grinned up at them as they entered, proud as anything, showing off the infant cradled in her arms.

"Mama, daddy, look, come look at her, look." Her voice cracked a little but she didn't cry, eyes shining as she held her up for her parents to see.

"Oh, Michelle." Her mom's voice was definitely shaking, eyes bright as she looked her new grandbaby over. "Look at her, oh my goodness. She's perfect."

"She's definitely got our nose, that's for sure." Her father added with a hoarse chuckle, face wet with tears as he gently tapped the tip of Victoria's small nose. "You did good, Michelle. Sweetheart, you did so good."

"Thanks, dad." She said, voice wobbly, and then turned to Matt, holding Victoria out to him. "Here, it's time for you to hold her; my arms are getting tired."

Matt quickly scooped her up, nervous as all hell that he was going to drop her, and _jesus_ – if he thought she was tiny in Michelle's arms, she's something else cradled in his. He could curl Victoria into the crook of his arm no problem, she was so _small_.

He brushed a tender finger over the golden curls sticking out from under her little cap, partially listening in on the conversation Michelle was having with her parents.

"Are you going to pierce her ears?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about it. Better now than later."

"Do you think you can try and eat something? You look like you're about to fall over."

"I guess I can try? But dad, all I want to do right now is sleep for two days. I don't even know if I can find the energy to eat."

They laughed, quiet, and then Noelie asked, "so – what's her name?"

"Ah." Matt could picture the smile on her face right now, "we'd decided, y'know, a while back, if they were gonna be a girl – Victoria Noelie."

Silence. For a moment, the only sounds in the room were the tiny, snuffling breaths of their daughter.

"Michelle –" Noelie tried to speak, but her voice cracked before any more words could come out.

"Aw, mama, come here. I'm dead tired, but I still have enough energy to give you a hug."

She let out a watery laugh, leaning in to bury her face into her daughter's neck, sniffling. Michelle rocked her mother gently, side to side, looking up at her father with a shit eating grin.

"Ruthless." He chided gently, but his eyes were just as wet.

"Aw, dad, no, she loves it! She's taking it great!"

Noelie laughed wetly into her neck, and Michelle laughed with her until it was interrupted by a great yawn.

"Alright." Étienne slapped his hands against his thighs, pushing himself to his feet, "I think it's time we let you rest. You too, Matthew; I know you haven't slept for as long as she has."

Matt, still distracted at the whole _newness_ of Victoria, startled at the mention of his name. "Oh, wait, are y'all leaving?"

"Well, I figured since y'all need to sleep –"

"We can sleep just as fine with y'all in here." Matt firmly cut him off, "You haven't even had a chance to hold her. You two can get acquainted with her while we sleep, okay?"

"Oh, yes, please, I'm so ready for a nap. Come here, Matt, come lie down with me." Michelle scooted over as far as she could in her bed, making room for him to lie next to her.

"Are you sure you want me in there with you? I can take the cot they gave me so you can have more room –"

"Matthew, don't ask stupid questions. Get in this bed."

"Also," Michelle called out as Matt slid into bed next to her, letting her curl up under his arm, "dad, send me that picture you took before you two came in; I saw your phone, you weren't slick."

A few minutes later, her phone chimed with a text notification, and Matt reached over and plucked her phone from the small table next to her bed, handing it over to her. Michelle hummed her thanks, quickly unlocking her phone and going to her messages, saving the picture to her phone. "Aw, dad, this is a good picture. I don't look like an exhausted gremlin at all. Oh, aside from the circles, but what can you do?"

Her fingers flew over her keyboard, quickly sending out her text, and with a satisfied smile she switched her phone to vibrate and threw it onto the bed. "There. Now I can really get some sleep." She curled even deeper into Matt, who was quickly starting to doze off, and sighed, content. "Mama, if my phone starts buzzing or whatever, you can answer it. It's probably my friends calling. Just let 'em know what's up and stuff."

If her mother replied, Michelle didn't hear it; after shoving her face into Matt's chest, she fell asleep in what felt like seconds, soothed by the rise and fall of his chest and the lull of his heart.

-o-

"Oh _shit!"_

Both Arthur and Al looked away from the television, snapping their heads down to Marie at her outburst.

They were curled up together on the couch, watching a movie and nursing their coffee cups, still in their pajamas. Al and Arthur were pressed close together, and Marie was laying in both of their laps, Arthur absently playing with her hair while Al ran an absentminded thumb gently across her thigh.

It was a peaceful morning, all things considered. Until now.

Marie looked about ready to cry, face screwing up and turning red as she looked at her phone.

"What? What is it, what's going on?" Arthur tried to see what was on Marie's phone, but he couldn't catch anything at that angle.

Marie looked up at him, eyes glassy with tears, "Michelle had the baby! She sent a picture!"

"Oh _shit_ , _what_!" Al jerked forward at that, "Marie, c'mon, what! Let us see! I want to see!"

"Why didn't she send a picture to us?" Arthur asked, mildly offended. "Did she just send one to you and Elise? That's so unfair."

"Maybe she did send one to you; how are you going to know if you leave your phone in the bedroom all the time? You, too, Al, I have no idea where you last put your phone. You always lose that shit somewhere."

While she scolded them, Marie finally decided to be nice and gave them her phone, watching smugly from their laps as they smooshed even closer together to see her screen.

"Oh my god. Holy shit." Al's voice was definitely cracking, and Arthur didn't look any better, his face turning as red and emotionally compromised as Marie's.

"Look at her, oh my god." Arthur whispered, awestruck, "Look, she's so _small_. Oh my god."

"Michelle looks great. So tired, though; do you think if we call she'll be asleep -?"

Their staring was quickly interrupted by Marie's phone flashing to life, lighting up with a call from Elise.

"Alright, here we go." Marie plucked her phone from Al's hand and got comfy, answering the call and pressing her phone to her ear. "Elise! Did you get -? Yeah, we got the picture too! I kno – I _know_ , I was about to cry, too! Yeah – yeah, I don't think she'd be up for a visit now, but we can call later and see –"

-o-

 _[image attached]_

 _(613): It's a girl! Victoria Noelie Williams is here, everyone say hi!_

* * *

AND SHE'S DONE.

I'm spacebeyonce now, on tumblr, and I barely write as much as I used to, but I dunno. maybe one day I will again.

until then, hope y'all like this. thanks for reading.


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